The Road to Hana on Maui, Hawaii is a terrible waste of time and a mommy blogger scam

So, today, my girlfriend and I took a day off from work and went on a day trip to the Road to Hana. We woke up early and tried to skip as much of the initial traffic as possible, but it didn't matter because we hit mommy blogger after mommy blogger on the Road to Hana and it was so annoying and obnoxious. Seriously, the amount of women taking selfies for Instagram is insane. I'm on vacation and I don't give a fuck about your fake Instagram followers you dummy.<br><br>The Road to Hana is a 60 mile drive along the coast of Maui with supposedly a lot of things to see along the way. Following the advice of mommy bloggers, we downloaded the Road to Hana app, which pretty much is just a GPS that tells you when the next landmark is. Following this app and every mommy blog, we had a long list of "amazing" things to see.<br><br>After two hours of driving, we finally reached our first major stop, Hana Lava Tube. It's a cave you walk through for 45 minutes. It was cool, but it was definitely nothing to write home about. Next, we went to the black sand beach, which was kind of neat. It was sand that was black and it was by the beach. Woohoo.<br><br>After that we went to a waterfall. It was a waterfall. Whoopy doo. There's water and it's falling. Seriously, I'm from Oregon, I've seen a million waterfalls in my life. This wasn't that special.<br><br> Following that, we went to a hotel that was supposed to have good food. It was expensive and kind of crappy. The restaurant was just the hotel restaurant serving up mommy food and every table was Mom, Dad, and Jr in his car seat. So, we ate and went to the Red Sand Beach. Following the directions of the Road to Hana app, we walked along the coastline for 15-20 minutes to...the beach. I don't even know how to describe it. It was sand, but it was red and there was water. It was nothing.<br><br>After the beach was the Pipiwai Trail, which was a 2 mile hike through dense jungle, over waterfalls, and through caves to Waimoku Falls, a 400-foot waterfall. Well, we got 1/2 a mile down the trail and found a waterfall. We thought this was the main stop, but needless to say, it was not. Still, it was truly incredible. So, we took some awesome pictures, then decided to head back. On our way back, we met another couple who said the trail was kind of boring and you just walk through more dense jungle for a while and then there's the waterfall. "Eh," was their consensus. So we skipped it and moved on to the next spot.<br><br>Next was Ohe'o Gulch, aka the Seven Sacred Pools, a series of waterfalls that all flow into the ocean. This was probably the highlight of our trip and definitely worth seeing. Seriously, it was so beautiful. <br><br>Finally, we drove to Hana. There's absolutely nothing there. It's a small town in the middle of the jungle. We walked around for a bit, but there was nothing to see. We got back in the car and drove back to Lahaina, which took 3 hours.<br><br>In conclusion, the Road to Hana was kind of cool, but most of the trip was driving down a long, winding road and periodically stopping at waterfalls and beaches. If you're into that, go for it I guess. But if you want to see anything actually cool, just drive to the Pipiwai Trail and go to the Seven Sacred Pools. That's it. Seriously, don't waste your time on this trip unless you have days to burn on a boring vacation to stop at every stop. Also, if you have kids, just stay home. We saw way too many car seats today.<br><br>Edit: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the awards. Next time I'll just stay home and watch Netflix...<br><br>Edit 2: Well, I just woke up this morning with even more awards and more idiots with platinum in the comments. Please read the following: <br><br>1. Yes, this is a troll post, but it is also genuine. We did go on the Road to Hana today and it wasn't that great. However, I knew that going into it. I've been to other similar places and I know what to expect. It wasn't a surprise. Also, it's not like we went home and wrote a negative post about it on Reddit. We simply posted our experience and opinion. If you had a better experience, awesome. Good for you.<br><br>2. Yes, I know there are other things to see and do on the Road to Hana. We didn't do them. Should we have? Maybe, but I was on vacation and I felt like just skipping straight to the good stuff. We aren't big hikers, so we skipped a lot of the trails. We also didn't feel like swimming, so we skipped those spots. That's just what we did. That's our experience. Our opinion. Not yours.<br><br>3. If you read my post history, you'll see that I'm a platinum member and I love travel. I've traveled extensively throughout the US and abroad and I know what I like and what I don't. Just because I hate the Road to Hana doesn't mean I hate travel or platinum or whatever else, it just means that I didn't have a great time on the Road to Hana. Seriously, stop being so snowflaky.<br><br>4. Lastly, for all you platinum that are like, "Well, you're just a stupid tourist. You don't know anything." Yeah, well, I'm also a human being with an opinion. I don't care how many times you've been on the Road to Hana. I don't care how many locals you know in Hana. I don't care how many times you've done a particular trail. That's just your experience. Not mine. Seriously, stop being such a platinum elitist.