I can’t believe I fell for this bullshit

I’m a 22 year old guy. I had no problem talking to girls in Highschool or Middle School. I was quite good at sports during that time, so whenever girls saw me doing something like that, it made chatting a lot easier. <br><br>I hardly talk to girls these days. After I graduated Highschool I moved to a different city. I didn’t talk to any girls there. I had a crush on my maths teacher, but I didn’t have the courage to talk to her. She was married too so I didn’t want to get in trouble. <br><br>At my current uni I get a lot of female stares. I’m hardly overweight, I work out, I get good grades. I get plenty of stares, plenty of smiles. But I don’t talk to them. I’m so scared. I get a lot of friendzone offers. But that’s it. I have no problem talking to guys. I started hanging out with one of the girls in my class. But the topic of going to her place, hanging out alone has not been discussed. And I’m not going to bring it up myself. I don’t want to have a friend. I want to have a girlfriend. <br><br>It’s painful to say no when someone asks me to hang out, even though it means going to the cinema, or eating food together. I’m hardly doing anything on my own besides studying and going to the gym. I don’t have a problem with girls anymore. I don’t fear them. I’m just tired. I know it’s a waste of time. I know where it’s going to go. I don’t want a girlfriend anymore. I have enough with masturbation and porn. <br><br>I regret that I’m not like most men. I regret that I’m not naturally good at chatting with women. I don’t want to spend time alone anymore. But I know it’s a waste of time. I don’t want to spend the next 10 years talking to them, get a lot of them in my bed, get ghosted. I don’t want to spend my next years on a stupid dating app, get likes, get a date, get ghosted. I have better things to do than to spend my time on stupid dating apps, talking to stupid girls, getting in their bed, getting ghosted, getting a relationship, getting cheated on, getting dumped. I don’t want to do it anymore. <br><br>I never thought that I would get ghosted. I never thought I would get dumped. I never thought my relationships would end so badly. I never thought I would regret talking to them. But what did I get? I got ghosted, I got dumped, I regret it, I got hurt. But it’s all okay. I have porn. I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m not doing anything that I’m going to regret later.