My girlfriend [40f] of 2 years said something that I [41m] can't ignore

She has older children from a previous marriage, and she laughs about things her children did that I wouldn't find funny. Her son had Ehlers-Danlos and his joints would dislocate randomly, and she made jokes about how he'd try to do things and his shoulders or elbows would pop out of place. It bothered me, but not that much.<br><br>She's from another country and she mentions things from her childhood that are not what you'd see in the US. Things like if someone is mentally ill or disabled and can't take care of themselves, they just live on the street or with their families and there's no help for them.<br><br>About a month ago we were talking about our childhoods and I told her a story about my brother and I getting in a fight when we were younger and how my brother's ear drum ruptured. She started laughing and I told her it wasn't funny, my brother had pain for months and had to see a specialist. She said she was sorry, it was a reflex and she didn't mean to hurt my feelings.<br><br>Yesterday I told her about my friend who passed away at 18 due to a car accident. I wasn't there, but a friend of a friend was drinking and driving and my friend was in the passenger seat and the driver lost control of the car. I said the driver felt guilty and I think he went to therapy for it. My girlfriend started laughing and I said it wasn't funny, my friend died. She said sorry and started to explain herself but I said she'd done this before and it bothered me. She said she realized she did that with my brother and was trying to prepare herself but she couldn't so she reacted the way she did. She promised she wasn't making fun of my friend or diminishing his death but her reaction worried me and I could tell she was still trying not to laugh. At that point she realized I was seriously upset and she stopped.<br><br>She noticed I was upset and asked what's wrong. I told her it bothered me that someone would laugh at someone else's death. I told her I can't imagine her reaction if I died and she started to cry. She said she's actually afraid of death because her son's condition made it more likely he would die unexpectedly and young and she's been trying to prepare herself for the possibility but thinks she's failed. She said she's worried about what would happen to her son if she died first and she was trying to train him to be able to take care of himself but she worries that she isn't doing enough and she's going to leave him in a bad position.<br><br>She said that she knows it was wrong to laugh at my friend's death and she's going to try harder not to react that way in the future and she knows she comes from a different place and her reactions aren't American but that doesn't make it okay.<br><br>I don't know how to feel. Her reasoning actually made sense to me but I can't ignore what she did because I can imagine her doing something worse in the future. What do you think of this?