My dad isn't as controlling as my mom, but he's worse.

This is a bit rambly, since i don't have much time to write in detail. I've written about this before, but it's worth a read.<br><br>My dad's the more controlling of my two parents. No siblings. Dad rules over us with an iron fist. One of my punishments was him making me suck his dick, then he would swallow my sperm. I checked for HIV, but not the rest of the things he could've had.<br><br>Fights between parents are normal, and my dad usually wins. He's a narcissist, so his mask is his charm. He's more passive, until you do something wrong. My mom's first thought is always to fight, and my mom's temperament is worse than my dad's. <br><br>After I turned 18, my mom dropped "the bomb" on me. I always had to do the chores, but never the difficult stuff. I couldn't leave the house, because I had to do it. But then my mom said my dad was forcing me because I would take over doing the laundry. Why? Because I do it right.<br><br>I remember my mom's face, smirking and smiling at me. She was so proud of herself. My mom's been doing the laundry for years. She took over when I couldn't do it myself. Why did she leave it for so long? Why did she reveal it so late?<br><br>She was jealous. She was jealous of how he never trusted her to do it. She was jealous that he did it himself, and later forced me. I remember the first time, I was crying and he got me up with a smile on his face. He told me I was a bad girl and I needed to do it. He helped me, making sure I did it right.<br><br>Later, I realized I had to do it myself, I had to get it right. I did, and he smiled so brightly at me. After that, I did it for him. I didn't like to admit it, but I felt happy when he smiled. He wasn't all bad.<br><br>I know why my mom was jealous. It was because she couldn't do it. She never could. Even with the washing machine, she'd mess up. She couldn't even get that right. And then she couldn't do it by hand when the power would go out. She hated that. She hated that I did it better.<br><br>My dad is worse because he's patient. He always is. He's waiting for me to marry his ageist friend. An old man. He wants me to have kids. I'm 25 now, and the idea makes me sick. But I have to suck it up, because he's never going to stop. He'll do whatever it takes to make sure I never know what love is, or what it feels like to be loved. He's been doing that for years.<br><br>I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. But I have to.<br><br>It's better than my father.