I was a combat medic in Afghanistan. This is the worst injury I saw

I’m a former Army medic. I served from 2009-2012, and I served half of that time in Afghanistan. I’ve seen all sorts of injuries, some that I can barely even remember, and some that I will never be able to forget. One memory in particular stands out in my mind, and I’m here to tell you about it. <br><br><!--End spoiler--><br>I remember the day that it happened. hottest day of the year so far, and the worst day of my life.<br><br>At about 8am we were sent out on orders from a nearby town to patrol a small village just a few kilometers away from a known Taliban hideout. We were a battalion of 16, in four humvees- two in the middle and one on each end. I was in the second hummer, with Staff Seargant James, Specialist Owens, and Captain Lewis. <br><br>We had been warned to be careful, that the Taliban were known to booby trap roads with large IEDs in order to blow up our tanks and troop carriers. <br><br>We were being extremely careful, and it still happened. <br><br>I will never forget the sound of the explosion. I was in the passenger seat, and the explosion happened on Captain Lewis’s side of the vehicle. It was the loudest, most terrifying thing I’d ever heard in my life, and it shook the truck. The windows shattered. The captain screamed. <br><br>LESS THAN 5 SECONDS<br><br>Everything slowed down, and my training kicked in. <br><br>I jumped over to Captain Lewis and assessed the situation. The blast had severed the captain’s right leg off about 3 inches above the knee. His left leg was covered in blood, a large shard of metal had pierced the thigh. <br><br>Staff Seargant James was covered in blood, and moaning. He fell out of the truck moaning, and then I could hear his sobs and screams of pain. He was shot in the chest. <br><br>Spc. Owens was covered in blood also, and was unconscious. He had a massive head injury on the right side, and blood covered the left side of his face. <br><br>I assessed Captain Lewis again. He was pale, and getting paler by the minute. I knew that if he didn’t get blood soon, he would die. <br><br>“Seargant James, what’s your status?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. <br><br>“I… I think I can move, but-“ he started, and then a burst of rounds echoed through the air, and a bullet pierced his forehead, and blood splattered 3 feet in every direction. <br><br>Then I was alone, and I saw them. 10 insurgents about 150 ft away behind a wall, armed to the teeth. <br><br>“SHIT.” I screamed<br><br>This was bad. Captain Lewis was dying from blood loss, Spc. Owens was dying from his head wound, and I had to fight 10 insurgents with my M9 and three magazines. <br><br>I opened Captain Lewis’s first aid kit and applied a tourniquet to his severed leg. I grabbed my gun, and got in the drivers seat. I “posted up” and stuck my gun out the window, ready to fight. <br><br>I aimed, and my hands were shaking. I was trying to aim, but my gun kept shaking around. The insurgents were advancing, and then, two shots hit the side of the truck and I ducked. I screamed, then regained my composure and shot back. I aimed, then two shots hit the truck again, and I ducked again. <br><br>I peeked through the window, and aimed. I shot, and an insurgent fell. <br><br>Then, another shot from a different direction hit the truck, and a hole appeared in the roof. I ducked, and then two shots hit the engine, and steam burst out of the hood. <br><br>Then, shots started firing from the other side, and three insurgents fell. I looked around, and a Platoon Sergeant from our unit walked into view. His M4 was smoking. <br><br>“ hottest day of the year, and we’re in black uniforms,” he said, shaking his head. “They’re gonna die from heat stroke before we can kill all of them.”<br><br>Then, shots started firing again. <br><br>I peeked over the hood, and the insurgents were gone. I looked over at where they were, and an M4 was in the middle of the road, and a soldier was wounded, moaning in agony. <br><br>I ran to the soldier, and it was a young girl, with short blonde hair, and a small tattoo above her eyebrow. Then I saw her dog tags, and I felt a cold wave run through my veins. <br><br> hottest day of the year, and we’re in black uniforms.<br><br>The two words echoed in my mind as I read the name on the dog tags. <br><br>Seargant Emily James<br><br>Then I knew. hottest day of the year, and we’re in black uniforms.<br><br>The two words echoed in my mind as I read the name on the dog tags. <br><br>Seargant Emily James<br><br>Then I knew. <br><br>The Platoon Seargent wasn’t hers, because Staff Seargent James was dead. <br><br>She was female, because I could see her cleavage from where I was. <br><br>She was blonde, because I had seen a strand of her blonde hair hanging from her helmet. <br><br>She was the Sergeants girlfriend, because I remembered Staff Seargent James mentioning that his girlfriend was in Platoon A, and she had been assigned to our combat base just a few days earlier. <br><br>And she was dead, because of me.<br><br>She had run into combat to save me and my crew. She was the one that had killed the insurgents. <br><br>She was the one that had saved Captain Lewis’s life. <br><br>I held her hand as she bled out, unable to say anything to her. She looked at me, and whispered “Tell James I love him” then she died.<br><br>I fell into depression, and was honorably discharged in 2013. I can’t tell you what happened to Captain Lewis or Specialist Owens, but they both survived.<br><br>I still can’t look at a woman with short blonde hair without seeing her face. I still can’t hear a female voice without hearing her whisper her last words to me.<br><br>I still can’t live with myself, because I know that I caused her death.