I miss her. I hope she’s doing well.

In 9th grade, I was basically a loner. I got up from my chair, and she sat in it. I got up and walked away, and she stopped me and said “Hey why did you get up and leave? We’re gonna talk after this.” I thought it was really sweet. The next class we had together was usually just us talking to each other while everyone else did work. We were so much alike. She was so bubbly and sweet. She had the prettiest smile. She was so outgoing. I was so nervous around her, I couldn’t even say anything to her for a couple days. When I finally worked up the courage to talk to her though it was great. One day she did something so sweet, and I’ll always remember it. We were sitting on the bleachers waiting for class to start, and I turned around and she had fallen asleep behind me. I thought it was the funniest thing ever. She woke up a few minutes later and looked so confused. I asked her what she was doing and she said “I was so tired.”<br><br>These are the only memories I have of her, and they’re so vivid. I don’t think I’ll ever forget them. We were in everything together. I had a huge crush on her for a long time. When I moved to a new school it was really hard for me. We used to talk a couple times a week, but she saw a change in me and stopped. I don’t blame her. I was so depressed and angry and upset. I wasn’t good company. I wasn’t myself. I was so confused. I remember her telling me about her first boyfriend. I never told her about any of mine. I was always afraid of ruining our friendship. She had a high school sweetheart for a year or so. I’m really genuinely happy for her. I saw a picture of her with him a long time ago, and I instantly noticed him. I liked her right away. I wish her all the happiness in the world. I wish I could’ve been that for her, but I’m so glad she found it somewhere else.<br><br>I’m really sorry if this comes off as weird, but it’s been a long time since we last spoke. I still think about her a lot, and it’s hard for me to stop. She was the first person in a long time to make me feel like I was important to someone. She treated me with so much respect, it was great. I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to get over her. It was hard for me to think that someone actually saw something in me worth talking to. She was the only person I ever trusted. I told her everything. She was the best friend I’ve ever had. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about someone ever again. I haven’t had a real friend in a long time. She was so much more than that to me though. Looking at her made me feel something that I’ve never felt before. It was like my chest was going to explode. It was everything. She had short brown hair. Her eyes were light brown. Her smile was captivating. She had a small nose. She went to get her belly button pierced once. I remember her saying it hurt so much because it was such a weird spot to get. She had a high pitched laugh. It was so sexy. I miss it.<br><br>She’s really pretty. She’s so smart. She looks after people. She just has this aura about her. She was my best friend. She was so worried about me. She actually cared about my well being. She always made sure I was doing well. She was so thoughtful. She was so intelligent. She was so funny. I miss her so much.<br><br>We both had such a crush on each other, but neither of us ever told each other. I’ve always regretted never telling her how I felt. She never told me, so I never thought she felt the same way. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she probably felt the same way. I never wanted to ruin our friendship so I never told her. I’ve always wondered what would’ve happened if I had. I think about that a lot. I wonder what could’ve happened if things had gone differently. I wonder if she ever thinks about me. I wonder if she’s happy. I wonder if she’s doing well. I wonder about her all the time. I could never forget her. She was so much a part of my life for so long. I don’t know if I can ever let go of what we had.