Stole my mom's drugs, now I'm bipolar and have ADHD and OCD and other disorders. I'm cancelling meltdowns and ranting.

Hello. I may have found the only place that is ok with me. I don't really get therapy but I have gotten diagnosed. This is not a funny story. I wasn't a teenager who stole medication. I was an adult and had no idea what I was doing. I felt like people were inside my head. I had voices and hallucinations. I was very depressed and had a need to attack things. I swung at walls and hit myself in the face. I decided to steal. I stole my mother's medication and had my own little private breakdown. She found out by the way. She freaked out and made me go to the doctor and get tested. Now I have disorders and have to take medication. I just feel like shit. I am not myself and I am so angry. I hate my mother most of all and it's a very toxic relationship. She was a poor adult to me and is now a very poor parent. I do not understand how I could have gone so far without knowing the damage I was doing. I'm still bipolar and hyper. I swung at my own face and hurt myself. This was the activity I used to fuel meltdowns and rant. I'm a very angry person. Very angry. I can understand why she would call me the devil. I am not. I am an angry woman. This is not a funny story. And if my mother sees this she will be angry. But I don't care. I want to spread the word of how important it is to care for your children. She was not there for me. She neglected me and didn't provide for me. I am a mess. If you are not going to provide for your child, you shouldn't have them. I just feel like I can't get over this. I'm mad all the time. I'm mad that I have to take medication. I'm mad that people get to do drugs and not get consequences but I'm bipolar and hyper and have disorders. Life sucks.