I'm so fucking tired of everything right now.

I use to be a very caring, compassionate, and empathetic person, but today I just feel resentful towards EVERY FUCKING THING. <br><br>I have friends and family that are literally millionaires, and i can barely afford a cup of coffee, which i don't even bother because I know I need to prioritize food and a roof over my head.<br><br>I have been out of work for almost a year. I applied to over 3000 jobs, networked like a mf, done everything i was told, i never had any problems finding work before. I worked my ass off since I was 15 and always had a job. I realize now that my whole life I have been relying on others to be able to survive. Things I use to enjoy i can't afford, and I'm getting tired of imposing on people and calling them 'friend' just so i don't have to starve.<br><br>I've used to care about people, i use to care about the environment, i use to care about everything, but i'm just tired. I want better for myself, i want better for my health, i want better for my finances, i want better for my sex life, and i shouldn't have to stress about everything all the time. I shouldn't have to be scared about what i eat. I shouldn't have to be scared of breathing too much bc of my not so great health. <br><br>I'm really tired of people telling me to "do better" or "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" or "you need to believe in yourself" when i fucking know myself best. I need money not advice.<br><br>I'm tired of being told that i shouldn't stress about money. I need money to survive. I need money to do everything. I can't afford fucking therapy to stop from stressing.<br><br>I'm tired of people that have no problem with money telling me how i should feel or think or what i should do. <br><br>I'm tired of being told that money isn't important. YES. IT. THE. FUCK. IS.<br><br>I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck, and i have nothing left over to do anything with.<br><br>I'm tired of people telling me to "toughen up" or "it's just a part of life"<br><br>I'm tired of knowing that there's enough money to go around for everyone to live comfortably, but people with too much money fucking HOARD it.<br><br>I'm resentful that i have been a tax paying citizen for 15 years, but when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, the government did absolutely nothing.<br>I'm resentful that i pay taxes but private organizations have to pay for me to have a roof over my head.<br><br>I'm fucking resentful of private health care.<br><br>I'm resentful of politicians that talk about how they care about their people, when i am one of their people and they haven't done a damn thing to help me. I am fucking American and they don't care about any of us.<br><br>I'm tired of knowing i work my ass off and i still can't afford anything.<br><br>I'm tired of feeling like i'm nothing but currency.<br><br>I'm tired of being treated like i'm nothing but fucking flesh.<br><br>I'm tired of knowing that there's people in the world that care about each other enough to make sure everyone is taken care of.<br><br>I'm tired of knowing that there's a better way of life but it's not here and i can't see it.<br><br>I'm tired of knowing i don't have a choice but to fucking care about money and can't afford to have anything.<br><br>I'm resentful of people that know how i feel but choose to act like they don't fucking know. <br><br>I'm resentful of people that are rich enough to invest in random shit but won't help me make a better life for myself.<br><br>I'm resentful of the fact that i felt better when i was younger because my needs were being met by my family and now i'm met with fucking silence and "wish you the best of luck"<br><br>I'm resentful of the rich. I'm resentful that fucking multi millionaires will always have a job when i haven't fucking worked in a year.<br><br>I'm resentful that i didn't do something to make sure i had a better life. I'm resentful that i didn't try hard enough when i was younger to make sure i was fucking set for life.<br><br>I'm tired of feeling like i resent not only myself, but everyone else in my life.<br><br>I'm tired of feeling like I've lost sight of my morals and values. I feel like i don't even recognize myself anymore. <br><br>i just wanna thrive. i just wanna live.