My husband "baby-traps" me

We've been married for 8 years, have 2 kids (6, 4) and I'm 7 months pregnant with our third. <br><br>Our son was a "surprise" because I have endometriosis and PCOD, "it can't happen". 18 months later our daughter was a "surprise" too. I was on birth control, he had a condom, accidents happen. <br><br>After the kids I was so exhausted. I was a stay at home mom, doing all the housework, yard work, and I was so tired. I asked if we could hire someone to clean the house once in a while. I didn't have the energy to do it all. He said no, but maybe we should try for a 3rd baby "it'll take my mind off of the housework". I didn't want to, but he convinced me. I fell pregnant right away. Three months later and he was pushing for a 4th. I was exhausted, we already had 2 kids and a baby, I didn't want another. He was pushing and pushing and pushing. <br><br>Around this time we switched roles a little. I went back to school, then got a job. "Hey, maybe it'll help you lose some of that baby weight" <br><br>I started going to the gym, and he started staying home with the kids. "I'm tired, I need to get away, sorry". He said he was tired, stressed, needed a break from the kids. I was tired and stressed too, I'm working and raising 3 kids. The house was a mess and since he was home more, I figured he could take care of the kids and house since I was bringing home the money. Nope. <br><br>When I'd come home from work, it'd be a mess. Kids would be crying, dirty diapers, dishes, trash wasn't taken out. He'd be playing video games on the computer. I'd complain, he'd say "sorry, I forgot". I expected more. When he was the one working, I managed to do it all, keep the kids happy and the house clean. <br><br>I brought it up multiple times, he doesn't help and it's hard working 40 hours and then coming home to raise the kids and do all the housework. He'd say he'd try harder, but he never did. He'd help for a day or two, then go back to doing nothing. So I started hiring people, cleaning services, lawn care, someone to clean the pool, power washing. I'd pay for it since he wouldn't. <br><br>This lead to a HUGE fight, he was so angry that I was paying for help. He thought it was a waste of money, but I didn't care, I was tired of doing everything. He didn't see a problem with everything, but it was a big problem. <br><br>He doesn't see a problem with anything. In his eyes everything is fine. No, everything isn't fine. <br><br>He got worse after that. He stopped Batheing the kids, didn't care if they were dirty. He'd leave their diapers dirty and just change them when I got home, so I'd see. He'd leave them in their clothes, caked with dirt. I'd get home from work and they'd be filthy. Their bed wasn't made, which isn't a big deal, but he had all day. <br><br>I started having our kids looked after by someone else, and just coming home to clean the house. Or, I should say, the filth he left. I'd clean all weekend, and it'd be a mess when I came home Monday afternoon. <br><br>He stopped doing laundry, I'd come home from the weekend and there'd be a week of dirty laundry sitting there. There'd be dirty dishes from 5 days prior. <br><br>All the kids had ear infections because he took them swimming and didn't dry their ears. <br><br>I'd ask him over and over again to do something about it. I didn't want to come home from work to a dirty house. But he just shrugged and said "oh, I'm sorry, I forgot". <br><br>The kids would go hungry. I'd get home from work at 5, kids are hungry, go to make something, and there's literally nothing. No milk, no meat, no fruit, no veggies, nothing. <br><br>"Hey, can you go to the store and get (?) because we don't have (?)". "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot". <br><br>I had to take off of work because he'd forget to get the milk. Or the kids would need their prescriptions filled. <br><br>He wouldn't take them to their doctor appointments. "I'm sorry, I forgot". <br><br>Last straw was when he was supposed to drop our son off at camp, but didn't. He was 15 minutes late picking him up from camp because he "slept in". Our son was in tears because he was late picking him up. <br><br>That night, I sat him down and said "maybe you can't handle 3 kids". He got angry. He called me "crazy" and said "maybe you can't handle 3 kids, not me". He took the kids and moved in with his mother. <br><br>Now he's seeking sole custody because I'm "unstable" and "can't handle things". He's telling lies. Big lies. Like how I'm a drunk, I've never had a drink with him. How I'm abusive, I've never yelled, hit, or anything to my kids. <br><br>He's living with his mother because he can't handle having 3 kids. He can barely do anything by himself. <br><br>I'm so tired. I just want my kids back. I miss them so much. I earned the money to put a roof over their heads. I gave up my career to raise them. I did everything for them. <br><br>How can he get sole custody? He's the one that lies. He's the one that can't take care of the kids.