I cheated and now I'm on the streets after 6 years and I'm "dead" to my family. I'm lost.

27m, I made the horrible mistake. Cheating is 100% unforgivable, and I know that. I was cheated on and cheated. The first time with a coworker. The second time I got caught by my ex and I lost everything with her and my family. Six years of relationship, and 20 years of friendship. She's the only girl I ever loved and that I will ever love. I did not know how people felt after losing a loved one before but I do now. I'm empty, I feel dead, and most of all, I feel like shit. I was so close to buying an engagement ring and now I'm wondering how I'm going to pay rent. I was doing so well for myself, had good friends and family, and everything else anyone could possibly want. We lived together, we had a cat, we were obviously about to get married, and I had "cheated" in the past. I'm lost and clueless. I know things will get better but for now I'm just wandering in the dark.<br><br>Edit: I've never said I didn't deserve to be dumped. I just wanted to know if there is some way to turn my life around ASAP<br><br>Edit2: people asking about the cheating. The first time I cheated we were in a rough patch in our relationship and we weren't together anymore. She cheated on me first and then we broke up. Cheating is horrible but I didn't know better and that was 3 years ago. I didn't cheat on her while we were together. Last time I was drunk and it would not have happened if I was sober but that is not an excuse.<br><br>Edit3: I know that my mistake is unforgivable and I don't deserve forgiveness. The reason I made this post was to see if there was any way to turn my life around fast.