I (28M) finally caught my wife (27F) in so many lies and it’s over. How do I play it cool?

My wife and I have been together for eight years. We have a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. <br><br>Last night I got home from work around 5:30 and my wife had left a note she was going to target to buy some groceries. She has an Apple Watch and I have been using the “find my location” app to track her when she goes out. I’m not sure how to explain this part. For the past eight months (yes, I have been letting this drag on too damn long and should have done something months ago) I have noticed a huge red flag in her daily mannerisms. She leaves the house to run errands or do things by herself and when I ask her to tell me specifically where she is she won’t tell me. She will just say she’s at the park or the mall (pretty vague when someone asks you to name a specific store you are going into). When I call her bluff on her vagueness she immediately sends me a screenshot of her location and says “See? I’m here!” It’s like she’s trying to prove something. Otherwise no one ever asks “where are you?” And gets the response “I’m at the mall! Not sure what store I’m going into yet, I just know I’m going into one!”<br><br>I always thought it was strange when she didn’t want to tell me specifically where she was. Like she was hiding. I began looking at her phone when she would leave the house (yes I know her phone password and she knows mine. Neither of us are stupid enough to try to hide anything on our phones) and realized she would consistently fib where she was. One day she said she was at Nordstrom at the mall but her phone showed her in a completely different part of the city. <br><br>Last night I decided to check her location. She said she was at target. Her phone showed her at a park about a mile away. I screenshotted and texted her the screenshot and said “Where are you really? This is where your phone has you. If you are at target why would your phone show you at the park?” She immediately called me, breathless and distraught, and said, “I’m at the park! And I’m not alone. Otherwise I would have told you the truth about where I was. I didn’t want you to know the truth because I know you wouldn’t be happy. I don’t want to fight about this. I just want to come home and talk about this. I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just talking to someone. I’m not doing anything wrong. You need to accept that I’m an adult and I can do things without you knowing about it”. I said, “You sound very stressed. I think you’re doing something you know I wouldn’t agree with. I think you’re having an affair. I’m going to come to the park right now and I’m going to see who you’re talking to”. <br><br>She said, “Please don’t. I don’t want you to come here. I’m leaving now and I don’t want you to follow me. I’m going to come home and we will talk about this. And I’m not having an affair! I’m just talking to someone. I’m friends with them and I didn’t want you to know”. I said, “You didn’t want me to know because you’re talking to another man. You’re having an affair. Am I right? Tell me the truth”. <br><br>There was a long pause and then she said, “Yes. I’m having an affair. But it’s nothing. It’s nothing. I’m not leaving you. And I didn’t want you to know so I could keep this a secret from you. I don’t want to leave you. But I do want to see you sometimes (no idea who the hell she is talking to). And I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would be furious. But I don’t want to end our marriage. We have been together for eight years. I don’t want to ruin it! But I don’t want to give up this affair! I want to keep doing this!” <br><br>I said, “I want a divorce. I’m going to come to the park and I’m going to figure out who you’re talking to”. <br><br>She said, “No! I’m leaving and you can’t come to the park. If you come here I’ll call the cops and I’ll have you arrested for harassing me! I don’t have to tell you the truth all the time. I don’t have to tell you everything about me. And you can’t follow me or I will get a restraining order against you! I’m not doing anything wrong. This is my choice. And you can’t stop me. I’m going to keep seeing who I want. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re so controlling and you need to let it go. It’s not your choice who I see. It’s my choice. And I’m an adult and I will do what I want. We can still be married and I can still see other people. And you can’t stop me”. <br><br>I said, “I’m not going to be married to someone who is having an affair. I don’t want to be with you. And I want a divorce”. <br><br>She said, “I’m not leaving you. I don’t care if you want a divorce. I’m not leaving. You’re going to have to make me leave. I’m not leaving. I’m not moving out. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. I don’t care if you want a divorce. I don’t care if you’re upset. I’m going to keep on doing this. I’m going to keep seeing whoever I want. And I’m not going to leave no matter how angry you get”. <br><br>I said, “I’m not going to stay married to you. I’m going to divorce you. And you need to get out of my house. I don’t want you here. You are not my wife. I want you gone. And if you don’t leave now and go stay with your family I’m going to have the sheriff come here and remove you. You are not my wife and I don’t want you in my house. I want you to leave”. <br><br>She said, “I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving! This is my house too. And I have the keys. And I’m not going to leave. I have nowhere else to go and I don’t want to leave. This is my house and you can’t kick me out. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay and I’m going to fight for this marriage. You’re not going to make me leave. I’m going to stay. I’m going to stay until the day I die. I hate this house. I hate where we live. But I’m not leaving. I’m going to stay. I’m not going to give you the house! This is my house. You’re not going to get it. I’m going to stay right here and I’m going to make sure you don’t get a penny from me. I don’t care if you want a divorce. I’m not leaving. This is my house and I’m not going to give it to you. This is mine. I’m not going to leave. I’m not going to leave. I’m not going to leave. I’m going to stay. I’m going to stay no matter what. And you’re not going to make me leave. You don’t have any power over me. I’m not afraid of you. I hate you. I hate this house. I hate our marriage. I hate our kids. I hate everything about my life. But I’m not leaving. I’m not going to let you win. I’m going to stay. I’m going to stay for as long as I can. And I’m going to make your life hell. I’m not going to leave. I’m not going to let you make me leave. I’m not going to let you win. I’m going to stay. I’m going to stay. I’m going to stay. I’m going to stay. <br><br>And that was the last thing she said/ And honestly it freaked me out a little that she said she hates our kids. I’m going to have to tell my parents about this and hopefully they will let our kids stay with them tonight. <br><br>So here I am. Alone. I’m freaking out and I don’t know what to do. I have no idea how to play this cool. I just want to tell her to fuck off and get out of my house but I don’t want to do anything I’m going to regret. I want to make sure I can get full custody of my kids. I want to make sure she doesn’t try to take anything that she doesn’t deserve. I want to make sure our marriage is over and she knows she can’t manipulate me. I want to make sure she knows she can’t stay. <br><br>What the actual hell do I do? She is so bat shit crazy. I have no idea how to deal with this. I have no clue how to get her out of my house. I have no idea how to get her to leave me alone. I have no clue how to move forward with divorce. <br><br>And fuck, I want to know who she is having an affair with. <br><br>Please help. I’m freaking out.<br><br>Edit: I do have photos and videos of her leaving the house and then her location on her phone showing her at completely different places. I also have a screenshot of her location last night showing her still at home when she said she had left. I have some