Uber Driver Was Like “Gimme Your Weed Or Give Me All Of Your Money, Or I’m Calling The Cops!”

I had done a grocery store run earlier today, and I stole $5 worth of gummies. I had spent $15 on fruit and other stuff, so I was actually down $10.<br><br>I was coming from the gym, I had my athletic clothes on, and I’m also carrying a weed pipe, a little orange bag, and a water bottle, along with my backpack. I’m waiting for my Uber driver for around 15 minutes in the rain. (I don’t mind though, because it’s relatively cool out at the moment).<br><br>My Uber driver finally pulls up, and I’m actually a little concerned because it’s an Uber Black Lux ride that I had ordered. I assumed that it would be a black SUV or something like that. But it’s actually just a black Toyota Avalon. So, I get in the car, and I sit in the backseat. We both do a little small talk, and then I’m just playing around on my phone.<br><br>I reach into my backpack and I pull out my water bottle. I realize that the gummies are in the same pocket as the water bottle. So, I’m just holding onto the gummies as I’m moving around in the backseat. The driver looks at me in the rear view and is like “alright, dude, stop it.”<br><br>I’m like “what are you talking about? Could you drop to the floor it, or whatever?”<br><br>He looks in the rear view and says “never mind. I’m dropping you off.” I’m like “alright, dude, whatever.”<br><br>He stops the car, opens the passenger door, and asks me what’s in my pocket. I take out the gummies and I’m like “oh, I was just going to eat these anyways, so you can have them if you want.”<br><br>He looks at the package and is like “where did you get this?” I’m like “oh, I got it from the store up the street.” He’s like “no way, I’m actually going that way, let’s roll up.”<br><br>We roll up to the store, and he asks me to meet him around the back. At this point, I’m a little skeptical, so I’m actually trying to figure out if he’s a cop or not. He is a very tall, mixed black dude, like around 40. He does look somewhat military though. He’s wearing a black all saints shirt, linen pants, and black all saints boots, along with a very small durag.<br><br>He meets me around back and is like “alright, dude, you’re going to take out that weed and give it to me!” I’m like “oh, I don’t know if I can do that, bro.” And he’s like “look, I actually have my kids right now. And there are cameras everywhere. So, I don’t wanna get fired. So, you’re going to have to give it to me.”<br><br>I’m like “well, I’m actually not going to do that, bro. I’m not going to get in trouble.” And he’s like “alright, well, I’m going to get fired then.” And is like “no, I’m going to run.” And he’s like “alright, well, I’m going to call the cops on you.”<br><br>So, I’m like “alright, dude, look, I’ll give you one package. But you have to let me go.” He is like “I’m not going to call the cops, but I’m going to ask you for all of your money. Give me everything or I’m calling the cops!”<br><br>I’m like “alright. You don’t get it. I’m not giving you any money. I’m not giving you anything. And if you call the cops on me, you’re going to jail, too.”<br><br>He’s like “I’m calling the cops right now! And you can sit in jail for a month!” I’m like “alright, dude, I’m out of here!” And I’m like “that’s not cool, bro!” And I’m like “I’m going to call corporate on you!” And I’m like “I’m going to have you fired!”<br><br>And he’s like “I don’t care! I’m going to have you put in jail for a month!” And is like “I don’t give a shit about my kids right now, I’m going to get fired, and I’m going to have you put in jail!”<br><br>So, I’m like “alright, dude, I’m out of here!” And I’m like “fuck you, dude, you lost a lot of money today!” And is like “you’re going to end up in jail! And I’m going to make sure of it!”<br><br>I was like “fuck this, dude, I’m out of here!” So, I’m probably like 200 or 300 feet away from the car, and I’m walking away at a normal pace, but I hear him beeping the horn behind me and is like “the cops are coming! And you’re going to jail!”<br><br>I glanced back, and he actually had his hazard lights on, and he was actually driving towards me. I’m like “fuck, dude, what did I do to you? You can’t catch me, bro!”<br><br>I’m like “fuck this, dude, I’m gonna run!” So, I’m actually running away at a pretty good pace. I’m like “fuck this!” And I’m like “fuck Uber!”<br><br>I get across the street, and I’m actually running at a very good pace. I’m like “fuck, dude!” And I’m like “I’ve been having a bad day!”<br><br>I’m actually running up to the gas station right now. I’m like “fuck, dude, I lost probably $50 today.”<br><br>I went into the gas station and stole around $15 worth of stuff. I stole $5 worth of bologna, $5 worth of chips, and $5 worth of energy drinks. I’m like “fuck this, dude, I’m actually going to drink one of these.”<br><br>I’m actually going to eat one of the bolognas right now. So, I’m actually eating the bologna and drinking the energy drink as I’m walking.<br><br>I’m like “fuck this, dude, I lost $20 today.”<br><br>I realize that I still have the other package of gummies, so I’m like “fuck this, dude, I’m going to take the high road.”<br><br>I’m actually pretty close to my house right now, so I’m just going to go home. I’m like “fuck this, dude. I lost money today, but I’m not going to let it get to me.”<br><br>I’m actually feeling pretty good right now, and I’m like “fuck, dude, this is great.” I’m like “fuck, dude, this is actually great.”<br><br>Uber was like “Uber driver cancelled your ride. You have been charged $50.”<br><br>So, I’m like “fuck this, dude, I’m actually going to call them right now.”<br><br>I call them, and I’m like “Hey, dude, my Uber driver tried to steal my weed. And he said he was going to call the cops on me, and actually drove towards me. So, I had to run.”<br><br>They’re like “oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry for that.”<br><br>I’m like “alright, dude, can I get a refund?”<br><br>They’re like “yeah, I’m going to give you a $100 credit.” And I’m like “thank you, dude!”<br><br>They’re like “yeah, no problem. Sorry about that!”<br><br>So, I’m like “fuck this, dude. I made money today!”<br><br>Edit: I just got off the phone with Uber again for some follow up questions, and they said that they would send a follow up text at some point. I asked them if I needed to do anything, and they said that they would just need to confirm my number.