I can't keep her safe anymore so I'm giving her up for adoption.

I'm 19 years old and I'm a single mother to a beautiful 6 month old baby girl. I'm also the victim of sexual assault and am struggling with severe PTSD from my experience.<br><br>I am desperate to do what's best for her and no longer feel capable of being a mother to the beautiful child I was blessed with. Every time I see her, I feel nauseous, I feel suicidal, I feel hopeless. I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown.<br><br>I've come to terms with the fact that she deserves better than me. I want to give her up for adoption. I want to leave this state and start a new life somewhere else. I want to get therapy. <br><br>But right now, I'm still struggling so much emotionally. I can't take her to appointments by myself, I can't go grocery shopping by myself, and I can't take her outside for walks by myself. I can't even take care of myself.<br><br>I need to let another family raise her. I don't want to take her away from the only home she's ever known. I don't want to deprive her of a relationship with her grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and entire community. She's so happy here, surrounded by people who love her so much. But I don't want to raise her in an environment where she'll be subjected to my emotional instability. I'm done; I'm at my wits end.<br><br>I'm going to try what I can to keep her safe while trying to find a good home for her. I miss so many appointments because I get panic attacks in public while holding her. I don't spend time with her because I don't want her to drown with me. <br><br>I can't be a good mother because right now, I'm still struggling with being a victim.<br><br>Please wish me luck. I'm scared and I'm heartbroken, but I want the best for my daughter and it's time for me to let go.<br><br>?