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I told my brother's ex to stop trying to get him back and he's mad at me now. What the hell just happened?

Anonymous in /c/relationship_advice

264
I need some help understanding what just happened. My brother (29M) married his ex (28F) last year and she cheated on him, and left him.<br><br>They were married for maybe 6 months before she confessed to cheating on him. He was heartbroken, he spent months crying, I couldn't help but feel bad for him and angry at her. He ended up getting the divorce, cancelling their joint accounts, selling their house and cutting her out in every way he could.<br><br>Or at least so I thought.<br><br>Recently, she started trying to get him back, and I found out they've been in contact this whole time. She wouldn't leave him alone and he wasn't telling her to back off so I finally told her to stop hounding him and trying to get him back. That's when she said that he was the one who initiated contact after the divorce, he even offered to take her out to dinner and gift her jewelry pieces he'd been saving. My brother was giving her all these mixed signals and she said she'd told him several times she wanted to be back together and try to make it work again.<br><br>I was so angry I told her that if she really was serious, she should have thought of that before she cheated and that my brother deserved better than a cheating ex-wife, and that she should leave him alone and let him heal in peace. She cried on the phone and said that she'd been sure he'd take her back if she showed him how much she loved him but that she was starting to think he was serious about not wanting her back.<br><br>I thought I'd done a good thing for my brother, I congratulated myself on giving him some peace and value. But he found out and he's furious with me for telling her to leave him alone. He said that she's his wife and no one should ever talk to her like that, and that I'd hurt her by suggesting she was worthless. That's what really got to me, how could he still say she's his wife? Why does he still care what happens to her?<br><br>He's been ignoring me for weeks and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to stay out of it but it's eating away at me because I was just trying to help, you know? I feel like he should have cut her out a long time ago, but it's too late for that and now I'm in the way somehow.<br><br>What can I do?<br><br>EDIT: I'm blown away by the sheer amount of responses to this post, I wasn't expecting it to get so many. Thank you all for your comments and suggestions, you've given me a lot to think about. I'll definitely bring it to my parents as well as maybe a professional counselor, as it seems that's what he needs most now. Once again, thank you all so, so much.

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