I was fascinated with my neighbors with benefits... until I wasn’t.

Wife here. Up until 3 years ago, we lived in a great little house with the best neighbors we've ever had. After living there for a few years, we learned that they were Neighbors with Benefits. He and his fiancée were in a relationship for years, then got engaged, then moved in together, then... they both wanted an open relationship. She proposed to him a poly love relationship where they would date people together and separately, and he agreed. We found this out after they admitted to us they were out at a swingers club one night and he wanted us to know before we learned the truth from someone else. <br><br>(At this point, I was 32, and he was 29, so it was a weird thing to bring with us to work the next day, but we did discuss it there and everywhere else, and generally just thought it was very strange but figured it was none of our business. After all, it made sense - these neighbors were the youngest people in the complex, and the rest of us were all in our 30s and 40s, and we had been doing the dating scene since we were teenagers. It made sense to us that someone in their 20s would want to explore and experiment before settling down.)<br><br>Then... my husband started gaining weight. Without going into details, he was going through a lot of stress and I'd go to my yoga classes for 3 hours to escape reality and he would... do absolutely everything else. Gym buddies? He'd rather go to the bar. Boring hyper-local errands? He'd take the scenic route. I was losing weight hand over fist while he was gaining it just as fast. And I know I should have been more supportive, and I know I'm so stupid for this, but I was young and holding it together for myself and our teenagers, I couldn't do the same for him. So I did the next best thing and I joined a gym. <br><br>And then my husband met my gym buddy, Chad. COMPLETELY BY COINCIDENCE. I thought it would be a great idea for him to work out with me at the gym, and since we couldn't afford two gym memberships for us and our kids at the time, I'd go to the gym and he'd use the guest pass. He was impressed by my gym buddy Chad, who was a personal trainer there who we met one day in the locker room and who always had a keen interest in our sex lives and telling us about his. And of course, guess who wanted to skip class and go to the bars with him and guess who wanted to work out? I was so happy he was off my back, and I could go to my yoga classes without worrying about him making an ass out of himself to my fitness family. <br><br>And that's when I met my own gym buddy, Rich. My trainer was on leave, and he took it upon himself to train me. He was so beyond nice, so kind and helpful... and he always made me feel so special and appreciated when I did something he was proud of. He was fit and strong with a dominant and caring personality. He even convinced me to start running with him, and I haven't been a runner since middle school, so that was a big accomplishment for me. I was so inspired by how good he made me feel, and I want to be clear I didn't do it for a man - I did it for me and for my family, but I did it thanks to his support and guidance. <br><br>And of course... my husband and his buddy Chad were not impressed. They were dismissive and snarky to the point I began to hate going to work out at the gym. I would dread going, and working out should not be something to dread, it should make you feel better. So I started working out at Rich's house instead. <br><br>So yeah, I was having an affair with him. No need to sugar coat it. And don't for a second think I'm defending my cheating, so I need to say it was in response to my husband having an affair with Chad, and then using that to take my money to buy steroids from him. Yes, my husband gave our house money to buy steroids so he could fit into Chads' idea of a gay man. Yes, I should have stepped in sooner. Yes, it was wrong of me to cheat on him, no matter how much he cheated on me. <br><br>And yes, we are in counseling. And I don't understand why he is. He cheated on me for years, he embezzled money from his job with Chad... and yet he thinks he deserves forgiveness and a happy marriage? When all I did was cheat, and I never lied to him or stole from him? He knows everything about me and my affair with Rich, and I know everything about him and Chad, so why does he get the happy ending? <br><br>That's why we moved. We couldn't afford it on just my income, so I had to get a second job, and now my husband has to spend all his free time doing the housework and taking care of the pets and kids. I figure as long as I'm doing all the labor and we're living the life I want, so be it - he can have his happy marriage he wants so much. <br><br>And that's why, in case you're still wondering, I don't want to be married to him anymore. And that's why... I don't want to meet him again.