I (28F) caught my husband (30M) coming home from the neighbors(24F) house. How do I confront him?

throwsaway12345678 @gmail.com<br><br>Long. <br><br>I'm sorry if this is too long for a reddit post, I just need some help. We've been together for 8 years and married for 6. We have one child, a daughter, she's 5.<br><br>We are good friends with our neighbors. We've known them for about 5 years. There's a husband and wife (35M 33F) and a daughter (24F). We call the daughter "Tanya" for the purposes of this post.<br><br>The big age difference in Tanya's parents and her is because Tanya is actually the half-sister. She is the child of the father and his ex-wife. We've known Tanya (24F) (half-sister) for a few years now, but only for the past year has she been living with her parents. She came to live with her parents during the pandemic so that she could be with her family. We've shown her no shortage of attention during the pandemic and have been nothing but nice and thoughtful neighbors to her. We did this of course so that she would feel welcome while she's staying with her parents.<br><br>We've always gotten along great with Tanya. She's a really nice girl. We've been nothing but nice to her for years. I was friendly with her, and so was my husband. <br><br>Tanya's parents are really nice people. We've been friends with them for 5 years. They're really great people. We've always gotten along with them great. They never really gave us a reason to complain. We've shown Tanya that she's included and has a family here and so have her parents. After the first lockdown ended, Tanya didn't end up leaving like we thought she would. She ended up staying longer. She ended up staying for over a year. For some reason she just never left. We didn't really mind, we just thought it was weird. Her parents never made her leave. For a while, we thought she was actually her parents' dog sitter or something, since at one point her parents did say that she was going to stay for a week or two to dog sit for them while they were out of town (they went to stay with their son) but that never ended up happening. For some reason, Tanya ended up staying at her parents' house for over a year, without a break. <br><br>So we did what we had to do as neighbors. We did what any decent person would do. We were nice to her. We were friendly to Tanya. We went out of our way to make her feel welcome. We brought her little gifts, just little things like cookies and stuff. We (I) asked her if she needed anything since she had been staying with her parents for so long. It's not like her parents are a bad parents or anything like that, but I just have this thing where I always want everyone to feel included. She always seemed like a really nice girl. I always went out of my way to make sure she felt welcome, even when she decided to stay longer. <br><br>We've always gotten along great with Tanya's parents. They are really, really nice people. We've always been friendly with them. For some reason though, they started ignoring us. It's been weird. They were never mean or anything, they just became standoff-ish (is that what you call it?). Tanya started ignoring us too. For no reason. I just assumed it was because of the pandemic. I thought maybe they were just (rightfully) precautions. Maybe they just didn't want to talk to anyone. I just thought they didn't want to talk to anyone in order to be safe (in case they got Covid).<br><br>It's been really confusing. They never did anything wrong to us. We've always been nothing but nice to them. In fact, we've gone out of our way to be extra nice to them. They just started ignoring us for no reason. Tanya used to wave at us whenever she saw us outside for whatever reason (usually walking the dog). Tanya used to be so nice. She used to be so friendly with us. I don't know what happened. <br><br>Well, it turns out none of that was the case anyway. Because Tanya was at my husband's house this morning (she left at 8am, he told me he went for a walk at 7:30am). I'm pretty sure they're having an affair. I'm just so lost for words. I can't believe it. I feel like I'm dreaming. I just don't understand how this could happen. I just feel so betrayed and hurt and lost and confused and sad. I don't know what to do. I just feel so hurt by this. I can't even put into words how I'm feeling. <br><br>So, this morning, when I saw Tanya leaving his house, I just immediately thought the worst. My husband had left for his walk at 7:30am. I saw Tanya walking out of his house at 8am. Tanya had a big smile on her face, like she was smirking or something (I don't know). She didn't see me. I was in the kitchen. I didn't want to make it obvious that I saw her, so I didn't want to get her attention. My husband came home at 8:30am (30 minutes after Tanya left his house). When he came home, he was acting like everything was normal. Nothing seemed off. He didn't act like he had done anything wrong (I'm just talking about his demeanor). (By the way, my daughter is at her grandparents, she's been there for two weeks. So, there's no need to worry about her).<br><br>I just played it cool. I played it cool and acted like nothing was wrong. I acted like everything was normal. I didn't want to act accusatory right away. I didn't want to just immediately start yelling at him. I just wanted to have a conversation. I just wanted to know the truth. I wanted him to think that I was just a concerned wife so that I could get the truth out of him. I asked him if he had a good walk. "Yes." He just gave one-word answers. He didn't seem remorseful or anything. I asked him what the weather was like outside. He just said "raining." I asked him if he saw anyone on his walk. "Yes." <br><br>I finally asked him if he wanted to take a walk like that again in the morning. He said that he would "love to" (his exact words). <br><br>I just kept pushing. I kept asking him questions. He just seemed so smug. Like he didn't care that he had just been caught. I just kept pushing. I asked if he wanted to take a walk again like that tomorrow, and he didn't hesitate to answer. He said, "yes." <br><br>I asked him what the hell he was doing on his walks. He kept giving me the same answers. He didn't seem very remorseful. I asked him if he was having an affair with the neighbors' daughter (Tanya). He said "yes." (I don't know what to do, so I'm just practicing writing this out. I'm going to be seeing a therapist soon). <br><br>He admitted to the affair. He said that he'd been having an affair with Tanya. I asked for how long. "A year." I asked how long he'd been in love with her. "A long time."<br><br>I asked him if I could ask him questions about the affair. He said "yes." I asked if Tanya was the sole reason for the affair. "Yes." I asked if he was going to leave me for her. "Yes." <br><br>I asked if he was in love with Tanya. "Yes." <br><br>I asked him when the affair started. "Over a year ago."<br><br>I asked him if anyone else knew. "No."<br><br>I asked if Tanya's parents knew. "Yes."<br><br>I asked if they looked at Tanya like a daughter. "No."<br><br>I asked him if he loved Tanya. "Yes." <br><br>I asked him if he wanted a divorce. "Yes." <br><br>I asked him if he was trying to get pregnant with Tanya. "Yes." <br><br>I asked him how many times they'd been having sex. "Too many to count." <br><br>I asked him what he saw in her. "Everything." <br><br>I asked him if he was going to tell people we were getting a divorce because of Tanya. "No." <br><br>I asked him if we were going to stay friends after the divorce. "Yeah." <br><br>I asked him when he was going to tell Tanya that he wanted to break up. "I'm not." <br><br>I asked him when he was going to tell her he wanted a divorce. "I'm not." <br><br>I asked him to tell me more about Tanya and him hooking up. "No." <br><br>I asked him if he'd fallen out of love. "I never loved you." <br><br>I asked him how long he'd been in love with Tanya. "Over a year." <br><br>I asked him why he married me. "I felt bad."<br><br>I asked him if he wanted to still be friends with me after the divorce. "Yeah."<br><br>I asked him how he'd felt about me when he married me. "I pitied you." <br><br>I asked him how long he'd pitied me for. He just (smirking ?) shook his head. <br><br>I asked if he was going to give Tanya money. "Yes." <br><br>I asked him how much he was going to give her. "A lot." <br><br>I asked him if he was going