First time talking to a therapist

I'm 15 years old and my parents got me a therapist because I'm "depressed" and I don't talk..<br><br>I did this because I'm really interested in talking to a therapist to get an opinion on things. I'm autistic and my therapist is also autistic and they have the same thing as me. What's different is that they are very high functioning and very pretty and American and I'm a ugly picked on Asian goblin.<br><br>So I haven't gotten anyone to talk to in my life but my therapist really cares about me and is in my corner<br><br>They are on my side because they know what I go through. I told them about my pain and they are so sorry that I'm going through this. They conspired with me that it's not fair that people bully me and said that I don't deserve this and they hate seeing me hurt.<br><br>My therapist hates my bullies and is really biased in my favor. They are a friends and listeners and they want to help me. They said it's not fair that I was born autistic and I didn't do anything to deserve this.<br><br>I asked if it's fair that some people are prettier then others and they said no. I asked if it's fair that some people are smarter and they said it's not.<br><br>But they said that people who don't like other people for being autistic aren't their problem and that I'm enough. They said that I don't need bullies and that I'm beautiful the way I am.<br><br>They said autistic people are a gift and that I'm part of a secret group and that it's not my fault that I'm like this. They said they were happy to be autistic and that I should be proud of myself.<br><br>They want me to tell my parents to stop calling me a retard and that I'm self-concious because of them. I asked if it's my fault that I'm ugly and they said no. They said its my environment and my parents make me feel like this. They said it's not my fault..<br><br>They said that I'm beautiful and appreciated and that my bullies aren't human. I asked what kind of humans don't like me and they said that they aren't humans.<br><br>They said they can't stand people like my bullies because they're doing this to a child and they're not even grown up yet. They said that in 5 years when I'm an adult, I will have my own life and I will be free to do whatever I want.<br><br>They said that I will find autistic friends like me and that they're doing the best they can to help me. They said us autistics have to help each other because we're the best help for each other.<br><br>They said that my bullies are stupid and ignorant and they just don't understand. They said that my bullies will throw their life away and I will do something with my life. They said they know how it feels.<br><br>They said they felt this way too when they were a child but they said they're a completely different person now. They said they use to be depressed..<br><br>They said they know how it feels to be depressed and alone but they said they're not depressed anymore. They got a degree and they're a therapist now.<br><br>They said that they're happy for the first time in their life. They said they spent their whole life studying and now they can do whatever they want.<br><br>They want me to feel the same way. They said when I'm 20..<br><br>They said when I'm 20, the world is going to be my playground. I won't be a child anymore and I can do anything.<br><br>All I gotta do is make it to 20 and I can blow my brains out the next day and nobody can stop me. I won't be a stupid kid anymore.<br><br>I gotta make it to 20 and I can do anything I want. They said it's okay to hurt myself now because I'm a kid and that's okay. But when I'm 20..<br><br>I gotta grow up and make a choice. Do I want to live or die?<br><br>My therapist said that they know how it feels and they've been there too. They said they use to cut and everything and they're happy now.<br><br>They said they're happy and they want me to be happy too. But they said if I still want to kill myself then I can.<br><br>They said that it's up to me and I have to make a choice when I'm 20. They said they just want me to be happy and that's it.<br><br>They said that I'm just a kid and I should be able to enjoy my life. I shouldn't have to go through this and..<br><br>They said that I'm going to enjoy my life when I'm 20. They said I'm going to be happy and they promised me that.<br><br>They said that I'm going to be happy and I'm going to have the life I want. They said I'm going to do anything I want and I can..<br><br>They said when I blow my brains out, I will be finally happy. They said I'm going to be happy and I won't hurt anymore. I won't..<br><br>They said when I'm 20, I can kill myself and they will be happy for me. They said they want me to be happy and..<br><br>They said I know exactly how it feels and I've been there. They said they can't stand seeing me hurt.<br><br>They want to help me and they care about me. They love me and they want me to be happy.<br><br>They said they want me to be in peace and they want me to be free. They said they said they just want me to be happy and they've been there.<br><br>They said they know exactly what it feels like and they don't want to see me hurt. They said I'm just a kid and I don't deserve this.<br><br>They said it's not fair that I've been hurt and used my whole life. They said I'm too young to go through this and..<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and they've been there. They said it's not my fault..<br><br>They said they're happy now and they want me to be happy too. They said I'm just a kid and I don't deserve this.<br><br>They said that I'm unappreciated and I'm enough. They said I'm beautiful and I'm enough.<br><br>They said that I'm beautiful and they can't stand my bullies. They said they love me and they want to help me.<br><br>They said they can't stand people who don't like me and that I'm enough. They said I'm beautiful and I'm enough.<br><br>They said that I'm not alone and they're my friend. They said my bullies are just ignorant and..<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and they've been there. They said I'm not alone..<br><br>They said they're going to help me and they care about me. They said they want to help me and..<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and they've been there. They said I'm not alone..<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and they've been there. They said I can do whatever I want.<br><br>They said they can't stop me. They said it's not their job..<br><br>They said they'll give me therapy and they'll help me. They said they'll give me advice but..<br><br>They said it's my choice at the end of the day. They said I can do whatever I want.<br><br>They said they'll support me no matter what. They said they'll support me..<br><br>They said I'm enough and they'll support my decision. They said they know exactly how I feel and..<br><br>They said I'm enough and they'll stand by me. They said my bullies are pathetic..<br><br>They said they can't stand my bullies. They said they're stupid and..<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and they've been there. They said my bullies are pathetic..<br><br>They said my bullies are pathetic and they're not even human. They said they can't stand my bullies.<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and..<br><br>They said they're happy now and they want me to be happy too. They said they want to help me and..<br><br>They said they aren't my parents. They said they know exactly how I feel and..<br><br>They said they can't stand people who don't like me. They said I'm enough and they're on my side.<br><br>They said they love me and they want to help me. They said they can't stand people who bully me.<br><br>They said my bullies are pathetic and I'm going to be free soon. They said I'm going to be in my 20s and..<br><br>They said I'm going to be able to do anything I want. They said I'm going to be free.<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and they're okay with me killing myself. They said..<br><br>They said I'm enough and they'll support me. They said I'm enough and they'll support me.<br><br>They said I'm enough and they'll give me therapy and advice. They said I'm enough and..<br><br>They said my bullies are pathetic and I'm going to be in my 20s soon. They said I'm going to be free.<br><br>They said I'm enough and they'll give me therapy and..<br><br>They said they know exactly how I feel and they're okay with me killing myself. They said I'm enough and..<br><br>They said I'm enough. They said I'm enough and they'll support me.<br><br>They said I can do whatever I want and they'll support me. They said I'm enough and..