Major TIFU with my gf and I dont know if we can come back from this

Sorry for the obnoxious title, but this is really something that I never thought I would do and I think that it really shows how stupid I can be<br><br>Me and my gf have been together since high school and we're both around 23 now. We moved in together this year and our relationship has been great lately<br><br>My gf has a few deal breakers when it comes to sex, but the biggest one is that she doesn't want to do anal. We've had a few conversations about it but she's always been really firm about it not happening<br><br>Yesterday, I was just sitting around our apartment, doing nothing and I was thinking about her and I got really horny. I remember thinking about how I always have to go to work, I do most of the cooking and do a lot of the chores, so once in a while my gf will give me a bj as a small gesture that shows she cares.<br><br>I was sitting there thinking that it would be really nice if she did that right now, but she's out with her friends. So I decided to text her and ask her if she could do that when she gets home, just as a surprise gift. She says alright and I go back to what I'm doing<br><br>She gets home about an hour later and we start watching a movie together. After a bit she says that she's going to the store to pick up something for dinner and that she's going to bring a few bjs mixers home.<br><br>I ask her what flavor she is going to buy and she says strawberry. I ask her if she can get blue for me instead. She asks why and I say that I want to pretend that I'm getting a bj from a pornstar and strawberry just isn't blue enough to achieve that. She laughs and says that she's going to buy blue<br><br>About 20 minutes later, she gets home with the bjs. I take the blue one and go to the bathroom to drink it, but she says that she's going to drink it with me. We both finish our drinks and I decide to come clean to my gf that I wanted her to give me a BJ. She's a little surprised, but she's happy to do it. I go sit on the bed, she kneels down and gets started<br><br>She's done for maybe 5 minutes when I start to feel really lightheaded. I think that it might be the alcohol mixed with the drink, but hey, I'm already getting a BJ so I can power through this. Then I start to feel really really cold, but my head is burning hot. My gf keeps going, but I'm really not feeling good at this point. I ask her if she could stop for a bit and she does. I'm sitting on the bed for maybe 30 seconds when all of a sudden, I remember that I have a stepbrother who sells drugs. I ask my gf if she knows what bjs mixers really are and she says that she thought that they were just a normal drink, but she really doesn't know since she's never had one before. I then ask her if she thinks it could be a drug and she says that it might be laced with something<br><br>At this point, we're both really worried. We look up what the effects of a womens libido booster are and pretty much everything that I'm feeling is on the list. So, we come to the conclusion that my womens libido booster was laced with something and that I've been high since I drank it<br><br>I tell my gf that I'm going to go sit in the bathtub for a while and come back down once I'm feeling better. She's a little upset that I had to come clean to her about the BJ, but she's more worried about my health at that point. I go into the bathroom, fill up the bathtub with cold water and sit in it<br><br>After about half an hour, I start to feel much better and I go back downstairs to my gf. I sit down on the bed next to her and she's just really upset. I ask her whats wrong and she's silent for a while before she says that she knew something was wrong when I wasn't reacting to her giving me a BJ. I'm confused and I ask her to elaborate, but she's still really silent. I ask her again and she starts to cry. I'm really not sure what to do so I hold her and ask her whats wrong and she keeps crying. She eventually tells me that she was just really worried about my health when I went to the bathroom, but that she was also really hurt when she learned that I wanted a BJ from another girl.<br><br>I ask her what she means and she says that I specifically told her that I wanted her to give me a BJ from a girl who wasn't her, a pornstar. I explain to her that I was talking about a pornstar because she has blue hair and blueBJ mixers are blue, so it was a little play on words. At first she doesn't believe me and I have to explain it to her multiple times until she starts to calm down. <br><br>Once shes calmed down, I'm starting to feel really horny from that damn drink and I start to feel a little mad. I look at her and I ask her whats wrong now, since shes still really upset and crying. She says that shes not comfortable being in the room with me and that shes going to sleep. I ask her why and she doesn't respond. I'm just really confused at this point and I tell her that I'm just going to ask her again tomorrow since shes not being clear at all and shes just crying.<br><br>I go to sleep really angry at her for being upset over something that isn't my fault and not explaining whats wrong. When I wake up in the morning, shes already gone and I have to call her to see if shes okay. We both calm down and she tells me that since I asked her what was wrong so many times, she thought that I wasn't going to stop until I got an answer from her. She said that she was really scared that I was going to try to convince her to do something that she didn't want to do. I tell her that I would never do that and that I never tried to convince her in the first place, I just didn't understand what was wrong with her. She then tells me that she's really upset because she thinks that I might have tried to convince her to do anal if she hadn't fallen asleep. I tell her that that thought never even crossed my mind and that I wouldn't try to convince her to do something like that since I know how important it is for her. <br><br>We're both a little upset with each other and we both agreed to take some time off to cool down and talk about this once we're both calm. I'm just not sure where to go from here since she's still upset about this and I don't want things to be awkward between us. I just need some outside perspective on this and any advice would be greatly appreciated<br><br>TLDR: I wanted a BJ and asked my gf for one, but I asked her for one from a pornostar since the drink that I bought was blue and I thought it would be funny to associate blue hair and blue drinks. She thinks that I might have tried to convince her to do anal with me once she was asleep since I was high at first and kept asking her what was wrong. We're both upset at each other and I don't know how to make things right