I was a bully in high school, and I’m not over it yet

I was a bully in high school. I never ganged up on anyone, and I never ganged up on anyone because of their race, gender, or sexuality (I picked on kids because I liked picking on them, not because of any reasons at all). I didn’t break any bones, but I picked on kids with severe disabilities and conditions (autism, down’s syndrome, hypermobile tIssue, ect), and my group of friends and I made their lives hell for a very long time. <br><br>I’m not excusing what I did, and what we did. I wasn’t an equal opportunist, and I was wrong. But I also wasn’t the instigator. My group of friends picked on kids with severe disabilities, and I went along with it, because I didn’t want to be left out, and because I felt like I was apart of the group. I wasn’t a leader, I was a very active follower, and being apart of something is the worst reason on earth to do what I did. I still have really bad feelings about this. <br><br>I graduated 10 years ago, and I haven’t spoken to any of those people since. I moved away, and I haven’t kept in touch with anyone. I saw one of the guys from my group at my brother’s wedding, and I made sure to avoid him. I still think about what I did every once in a while, and I always will. I’ll probably never find a way to get over this, and I probably shouldn’t. What I did was terrible, and I should be ashamed. I am ashamed, and I will always be ashamed. <br><br>I know the kids I picked on still think about it too, and I hope they’ve gotten over it. I don’t expect myself or anyone else to be exempt from the consequences of their actions. I can’t change the past, but I can change the present. I’ve picked on people since high school, and I have a history of picking on the weak and people who are different. I’m not the same person I was when I was a bully, and I promise I haven’t picked on anyone since 2013. I will never pick on anyone again, and I will always be this sub’s if I ever even think about doing it.