I hate my husband and I hate that I hate him.

I hate my husband. I hate that I hate him. I hate that I even care. He is the perfect husband and dad. Everything he does is selfless, kind, understanding, encouraging and loving. He's supportive and gentle. He gives me the kind of treatment I deserve and I detest myself for disliking him. I despise my behavior and I despise that I am so ungrateful and so selfish. <br><br>I would never ever even consider leaving him. I would never in a million years cheat on him. I wouldn't even think it. I love him and I always will. But I hate that I don't get annoyed when he snores, I hate that I get excited when he comes home from work, I hate that I know he loves me, I hate that I love him, I hate that I don't care if he sings badly when he thinks I am asleep, I hate that I find him handsome. I hate how unattractive I am compared to him. I hate that I can't say no to him, I hate that I say no to him in the first place. I hate that I understand him, I hate that I don't get mad when he doesn't want to have sex with me. I hate that I'd give up sex for him, I hate that I'd leave a party to get home before he does, I hate that I think he is the perfect dad. I hate that I am so insecure around him, I hate that I don't want anyone else. I hate that I think he looks up at me with love whenever he talks to me. I hate that we have to wake up for work, I hate that we have to go to bed. I hate that he's so good at everything. I hate that I don't have anything bad to say about him. I hate that I love him so much, I hate that I am so unattractive, I hate that I am so ungrateful. I hate myself.