I hired a male sex worker for 2 hours just to hug me and hold me and I gave him flash cards of what to say to me.

I'm a 22 year old female. I'm introverted, I had one boyfriend who cheated on me 8 months ago and since then found it incredibly difficult to socialise. Not that many people made an effort. I'm not a computer person, I don't have any social media and I spend most of my days sleeping and watching tv.<br><br>I bought 2 flashcards which had written; "You are loved" and "I am so proud of you".<br><br>I hired "Charlez" for 2 hours. He was 25. When he arrived I was shocked. I could see the shock in his eyes too. He looked at my cats and said "hey guys, what's up". They alarm went off as they usually do when someone new is around. He saw me crying in the corner and went over to me. I gave him "I am so proud of you".<br><br>He sat down next to me and said "I am so proud of you, it's really brave of you to do this". I gave him "You are loved". He hugged me and said "You are loved, I'm so glad you hired me, I think this is exactly what you need.<br><br>For the next two hours he made me feel like a king. He ordered take out for us and brought me the food and drank wine with me. We ate together. He talked to me about himself, what he studied, what the job made me feel etc.<br><br>I felt like a million dollars. For the first time in months I felt loved and special. I felt safe.<br><br>He dressed up in my husband's pajamas I left for him and played with my cats.<br><br>He texted me after leaving and said "Goodnight princess, I'll see you soon".<br><br>I might see him again soon. I feel...I feel...I feel like it's okay to love myself. That it's okay to think I'm wonderful. That it's ok to receive love even when it's not from someone that loves me back yet.<br><br>Love yourself before you love others.<br><br>This is the only -ism I agree with.