My husband and I still love each other very much but are not intimate anymore

My husband and I have been married for 15 years, we have two teen kids and they are all my world. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them, they are my earth and sky, my purpose of living.<br><br>Three years ago, I became suicidal after an awful bikini wax incident. It was incredibly painful and from then on I completely lost any sexual desire, I was in awful pain and couldn't even think about intimacy for months. It was not depression or low libido, it was just awful pain and I still have it. I avoided any intimacy and started sleeping in a separate bedroom to avoid having to talk about it. I was afraid my husband would see me as a bust or a broken woman. We stopped having sex, completely. My husband stopped trying and was completely understanding, he never complained. He is an amazing guy, always was. <br><br>Three years later I still feel broken, I don't have desire to have sex and can't have intimacy because of awful pain and now I fear my husband will see me as a bust, a broken lady that can't have intimacy anymore. I love him, I want to be intimate with him, I want him to see me as a woman but I still have awful pain and can't have intimacy. I avoided any intimacy for years and I miss it. I miss him touching me and caressing me. I miss making out. I miss him.<br><br>Last night, I was in tears. I felt awful, broken, lost and in pain. I felt so broken and was crying in silence. My husband came to see me and I told him everything. I finally told him I was in pain and that I couldn't be intimate anymore. I told him I feared he would see me as a busted woman. He listened to me and when I finished talking he just hugged me and told me everything would be okay, that he loved me and that we would figure this out together.<br><br>He told me to get ready to go out and that he would take me to a medical center and that we would figure this out together, together we would figure out how to make it stop hurting so much but that he needed me to be happy and that he missed my caresses and that I was and always will be the woman of his dreams, the woman of his life, his everything. I cried even more. He's so good to me, so kind and so caring.<br><br>It's been three years since I told him I was in pain and it's been the most amazing three years. We have been to countless doctors and urologists, we have tried different therapies and treatments. We have tried many things and still, I have awful pain and can't be intimate but it doesn't matter because he still loves me and cares for me. He still tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me.<br><br>We are not intimate anymore but we are still so close. We still hug, we still kiss, we still hold hands, we still caress each other and we still make out.<br><br>I learned that to have a happy marriage, you don't need to have sex, you just need to love each other and care for each other, you need to be there for each other and be willing to figure things out together.<br><br>I am so happy with him, he's an amazing guy and an even more amazing husband. I only wish I could go back in time and let him know how much pain I was in sooner.<br><br>My husband is an amazing guy and an even more amazing husband and I am so happy with him.