I don't know why I gave my friends my new house key.

“I’m going to go check on her” I said, as I stood up from my chair. My wife, Janet, put her hand on my arm and pulled me back. “She’s fine” she said. “She’s been doing better since we moved. You worry too much.” I look over at her, mildly annoyed, but she’s right. So I’m quiet. I was worried about my twin sister, Lily. She was never bright. She’s not autistic or anything, she’s just not too smart. And it shows. When we were kids she would burn her tongue every time she had hot chocolate. Once, she got frost bite because she wouldn’t come in from the snow. My parents baby’d her. Our father was especially guilty. I once saw him threaten a parking lot attendant because he gave Lily a hard time for unlocking a car with a rock. It wasn’t his. The attendant had simply watched as she did it. “You wouldn’t be so calm if it was your car” he said. “I don’t know, I’ve never been there” the attendant replied tersely. My dad pulled him out of the little booth and dragged him across the parking lot. He threw him onto the ground, then dragged him across the road outside of the parking lot. He pulled him up and punched him in the face. The attendant rolled onto his side, holding his bleeding nose. Our father walked back over to where Lily and I were watching, wide eyed. “Lily, do that again, and I’ll treat you like he just treated you” he said. She started crying. He patted her on the back and walked away. But he always did that. Always defended her. Always made excuses for her. Like the time she convinced me to climb down an old well outside our house. I didn’t want to. I was scared. But she said it would be fine. She said she would throw a bucket down to me and I could climb back up. I climbed down. But the moment I reached the bottom, she walked away. I yelled for her to come back, to bring the bucket. But she didn’t. One of the farm hands heard me and came to look. He climbed down and got me. He scolded Lily, but she just laughed. Our father didn’t even punish her. That was Lily. She thought it would be funny, so why not do it? It didn’t matter how it affected me. It didn’t matter how it affected anyone. And she never learned that it did. Janet pulled me back into the moment. “How long have you had this house?” “Almost three months” I said. She frowned and I could see the confusion written across her face. Three months. It was three months since we moved in, three months since my father died and left us the house and the farm. I inherited it. He bequeathed it to me. Lily got a large sum of money. Enough to live comfortably for the rest of her life. I had not been happy about father’s decision. Neither had Lily. I wanted the money, since I would be the one taking care of her, and I figured she would want the house, because it was where we grew up. But my father said he wanted me to have it. He said I deserved it more. And he left a little note. Addressed to me. Explaining why. Explaining all the reasons why he left it to me. Lily got a note too. She wouldn’t let me read it, but she would cry about it sometimes. *You really want to know? You really want to know why I left it to him? Because he’s better. He’s so much better than you. You’re a waste of my time, Lily. Everything I did for you was a waste. You’re an embarrassment. You couldn’t even take care of yourself.* She would shriek and throw things at me when she said that. She would pull her hair and hit herself. I would try to calm her down. Try to make her see that it didn’t matter. That she was loved. That she was wanted. That she was cared for. But she didn’t see it. She didn’t see that. And I thought moving would help. I thought it would be good. But it’s been three months and things haven’t changed much. Maybe it was even worse. It felt like she was getting crazier. And since I’d married Janet, Lily had grown to resent her. She would lash out at her. Say terrible things. Do terrible things. And I was always stuck in the middle. Resolving disputes. Making sure Lily didn’t do anything dangerous. Making sure Janet didn’t get fed up and leave. But it was getting to the point where I didn’t know if Janet could take anymore. I was the reason she stayed. I was the reason she put up with Lily’s antics. She loved me. And she knew I needed help. And I did. I couldn’t take care of Lily alone. I needed help. But it was hard. No one wanted to take care of an adult with the mental capacity of a five year old. And it wasn’t like a regular five year old. Lily was like something else. Something different. She didn’t function right. You could see it, looking into her eyes. Janet sighed. “I think we can both agree Lily is better here than where she was” she said. I nodded in agreement. Our father had died six months prior. We moved here. Lily and I lived together before. In an apartment. And it was hell. She would do terrible things. Terrible things. “I think we can both agree Lily is better here than where she was” Janet said again. I nodded in agreement. Our father had died six months prior. We moved here. Lily and I lived together before. In an apartment. And it was hell. She would do terrible things. Terrible things. So when our father left us the house, Janet and I were ecstatic. It was the perfect place. There was an apartment outside of the house, where Lily could live. We could keep an eye on her. And when we needed some space, we wouldn’t be stuck in the same house as her. But I gave her a key. I don’t know why. I just did. I thought it would be a good idea. And now I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know why I couldn’t sleep. But I couldn’t. And I thought of Lily. Of her key. Of the way she smiled and said “thank you” when I gave it to her. And I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and I turned. I couldn’t think of anything else. Finally, a little after midnight, I got out of bed. I walked quietly out of the room and down the stairs. *It’s not like anything will happen. It’s just a house key.* I argued with myself as I walked across the yard to Lily’s apartment. *You’re going to wake her up. And she’s going to be angry with you.* I reached her door and knocked. She didn’t answer. I knocked again. She still didn’t answer. This time, I opened the door. I called out for her. She didn’t answer. I stepped inside. It was empty. She wasn’t there. So I walked back to the house. I opened the door again and stepped back inside. I locked the door and walked back over to the stairs. I walked up them. I reached the top. I turned around. And there she was. Standing in my bedroom. Smiling at me. “Were you looking for me?” she said. “I’ve been right in front of you the whole time.” I froze. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. I was terrified. And she started to laugh. I turned and started to run. I could hear her behind me. I could hear her running. It sounded like a horse. It sounded like an animal. I ran down the stairs. I reached the bottom and turned around. I looked up. And there she was. “I’m home” She said. “I’m home now.” I didn’t see her again for the rest of the night. But I didn’t sleep either. I locked myself in one of the spare rooms on the first floor and looked out the window. The door creaked open behind me. I turned around. Lily was standing there. She smiled at me. “Are you ready to come out? I said. “I think Janet is starting to worry about you.” I stood up. I walked over to her. I walked past her. She followed me. It seemed like she had followed me. “What are you doing?” Janet asked as we walked into the kitchen. “You haven’t seen Lily all morning. Have you?” I asked. Janet looked at Lily. Then back at me. “She doesn’t know where you were? But she knew you were gone?” “Yes” I said. Janet frowned. “You let her out of your sight?” I shrugged. “I didn’t sleep last night. I was tired.” Janet sighed. But she didn’t say anything else. We sat down at the table. Janet and Lily on one side, me on the other. “Janet, I don’t think Lily should have the house key. It’s not safe.” “I know” Janet said. “So let’s take it away from her.” Lily scowled. “No” she said. “I want that house key.” “Well you’re not going to get it” Janet said. “I had it before. I still have it. It’s my key and no one will take it from me.” “Then you’ll have to leave.” Lily shook her head. “No. I won’t do that.” I frowned. Something was strange. Something

I don't know why I gave my friends my new house key.

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