I work security at Disney World... well, I mean I did.

I work in security at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. Yes, it’s a real job, and no, it’s not always happy. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it, or at least I did until I quit that is. The reason I quit isn’t important, but what’s happened since has changed my view on life, my family and even myself. It was my girlfriend, Sarah’s, birthday recently so I decided to plan a surprise for her. Obviously, it was Disney World. Sarah loves Disney and when I told her the plan she nearly cried, and honestly I nearly did too. The only problem was that it would be expensive. In all the years I worked at that place I never actually went there for fun. My salary was so pathetic that taking my family would have been way too expensive. In hindsight, I probably should have just paid for it. But I had another, cheaper, idea. I was sure that my old manager would let me in for free. I had a good relationship with my boss, and I had even given them a recommendation for my Replacement, and I’m sure it would have been fine. The problem was that I didn’t actually ask for permission. I assumed that it would be fine, so I didn’t ask, and decided to just show up with Sarah and the kids anyway. Often, especially during the week, we would let people in for free, just because we felt like it, so I assumed that my old boss would let me and my family in for free if he saw me. I mean, we had been friends. It should be no problem. So, we set off early in the morning, and I couldn’t help but feel that I was doing something wrong. I had never broken rules or done anything like this before. I was a good guy, I thought, and I shouldn’t be doing this, but here I was, going to my old work, hoping that my boss would let me in for free. We arrived at the park just after 9. I had lunch for the kids, and a whole plan laid out in my head on how we were going to do this. I would go to security, explain that I used to work there and that I was just with my family so could I have free entry. Pretend I was my old self. When we got there, though, I had second thoughts. This was my sons birthday, my nephews birthday. My girlfriend and her sisters birthday. It was supposed to be amazing, and now I was jeopardizing the whole thing just to save money. I didn’t want to take the risk. So I decided to just pay for the tickets and not try to get in for free. Just as I was going to the ticket office, I noticed a guy standing at the entrance wearing a black uniform. That was my old uniform. After a second I recognised him too. It was my old boss, Mr Eklund. I knew I had to talk to him since he had already noticed me. I tried to compose myself as much as I could before he approached me. “Tom, what the hell are you doing here?” He asked. There was no anger in his voice. He sounded calm, albeit a little shocked. He didn’t seem to notice Sarah or the kids. “I’m here with my girlfriend and her family.” I replied “It’s all of our birthdays today.” “Happy birthday, then.” “How have you been?” I asked, trying to divert the subject. “I’ve been well, thanks. You know how it is.” “Yeah, of course.” “Tom, I know why you’re here.” He said. I felt my heart pounding, and my palms were sweating. I didn’t know what to say, but he carried on talking before I had the chance. “I know this place is expensive. A ticket for five people is not cheap, and I know that a guy like you needs his money.” “A guy like me?” I asked “A poor guy.” He replied bluntly. “Yeah, I might not have much money, but I have a family to provide for.” I replied. He chuckled slightly. “You know, Tom, we still have the same rules we did when you worked here. We are allowed to let people in for free.” He said, pausing to look at Sarah and the kids. “Oh, really?” I asked “Yes, really.” He replied “But you have to deserve it first.” “Deserve it? What do you mean?” I asked. There was something about his tone that I didn’t like. “Well, there are some jobs that need doing that aren’t in the description.” He said. “Like what?” “Well, I could give you a list if you want.” “I’d like that.” I said. He paused for a moment, then handed me a piece of paper. “There are eight jobs on there.” He explained. “Every one of them I need doing. If you can do all of them, I’ll let you in for free.” “Okay.” I said. We sat down on a nearby bench and I read the list. *Stop the Woman pushing her pram in Main Street USA *Empty the room at the Continental Hotel for VIP use *Search for and dispose of all the roi on the It’s a Small World ride *Make sure that the parades go according to plan *Make sure that the park remains clean at all times *Search the park for Mr Sanders and tell him that he is needed at the PINAS restaurant *Find the little girl who is lost in the park *Tell the guy playing Peter Pan that he needs to stop hitting the children “Why do I have to do all of this? I thought you would just stamp my ticket and let me through.” I asked, looking up from the page. “We don’t stamp tickets anymore. And I thought you would have noticed, but there are no ticket sellers or scanners at the gates. We have stopped selling tickets. Everyone who comes here is doing a job, just as you are.” “What? Why?” “I’m not sure, but I’m told it is better this way. The park is ran far more efficiently when everyone has a job. And it’s a lot cheaper, and less time consuming, than hiring people to do these jobs.” “Isn’t that illegal?” I asked. He ignored me. “Now, Tom, please.” He said, looking at my family “You don’t want to disappoint them, do you?” I shook my head and left, trying to find the woman on Main Street USA. I walked around for about half an hour before I found her. As it said on the list, she was just pushing a pram. She was walking at a steady pace, not stopping at any shops or rides. She just walked. Every few minutes she would glance down into the pram, but I never got to see what was in it. I didn’t have to, I just had to stop her. I don’t know how to describe what I did next, but I can only say that it was a sort of instinct. I touched the woman, and she stopped. She turned to me and looked at me with cold, emotionless eyes, but then she seemed to look right through me and started walking again. I had to touch her again, and she stopped again, but this time, instead of walking again, she just stood there, staring into space. I walked on, leaving her. Now that I had done the first task, I moved on to the second. I had no idea where the Continental Hotel was, but I had been to PINAS before, so I decided to head there and ask at reception. When I got there I asked the lady at the desk where the hotel was. “There is no Continental hotel.” She replied “Did you mean the Continental at Epcot?” I nodded, and she gave me directions. I decided that I would look for Sanders on the way, as we passed PINAS on the way to Epcot anyway, and it would be a waste of time to go all the way to Epcot just to be sent back here again. I decided to start by asking at PINAS. I walked in and was immediately greeted by a friendly host who offered to show me to my table. “No, thanks. I’m just here to look for someone.” I replied “Who?” “Mr Sanders.” I said “Oh, yea. Mr Sanders is one of our regulars. He’s in a private room in the back.” He pointed me in the right direction. As I walked there, I noticed that all of the tables were empty. There were lots of waiters and lots of food laid out, but no one eating it. I reached the door to the private room, knocked, and went inside. There was a long table with one man sat in the middle of it. I recognised the bearded face of Mr Sanders. “Hi, Mr Sanders.” I said. He looked up at me. “Yes, what is it?” “I was told to tell you something.” I said. He looked interested, so I carried on. “You are needed at PINAS.” “But I’m already here.” He replied. I didn’t know what to say. I flapped my lips a few times like an idiot, but I had nothing to say. I just turned round and walked out. I reached Epcot in about 10 minutes, and it was just as empty as PINAS had been. I walked through the empty crowds and arrived at the continental. I walked in and straight to the elevator. I didn’t want to waste any time at all looking for the room I had to empty. The elevator took me straight to floor 77,

I work security at Disney World... well, I mean I did.

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