I hate my wife and she doesn’t even know it.

I (38M) have been married to my wife (36F) for 14 years. We have two kids (10F and 8M). My wife gave me a blank check when we agreed to marry, and now I have to spend the rest of my life rescuing her.<br><br>We met at college. She was beautiful, smart, kind and had a great personality. I was told that she was picked by the gods themselves, and I never heard any disputes in that claim. However, there was something lacking in her. She was dependent on her parents since her birth. She had a bad relationship with her teachersince she never allowed them to teach her anything at school, and the only friends she had were her relatives. I still didn’t mind it, since I loved her and I was willing to rescue her from that dependency, just like a knight rescues a lady in distress. I failed.<br><br>We got married after years of courtship and lived to regret it. I wanted to study, get a good paying job and give our future kids the best life. She wanted to be a musician. I wanted to travel. She wanted to stay at home. And so it went on. I grew more and more resentful of her laziness, as I had to work two jobs to pay for everything. I wanted her to at least take care of our home, and my parents ended up teaching her how to cook. And then she got pregnant. And became a full time mom. And didn’t want to do anything else.<br><br>Fifteen years went by and I couldn’t express what I feel. I’m too afraid that if I take the money out of the bank, she’ll spend it. I’m too afraid to cook something, as she’ll spit it out and say that it has no taste. I’m too afraid to buy something, as she’ll get upset if it’s not what she wanted. I’m too afraid of losing my job, as she’ll suck the energy from my body the night before an important meeting. I’m too afraid of growing old, as I’ll spend my life regretting that I didn’t take a stand.<br><br>The strangest thing about it is that everything seems perfect for her. She has her two kids, a loving husband, a great home and plenty of money. Everything is provided for her, all of her needs are fulfilled and she doesn’t need to do anything else. Still, she doesn’t find fulfillment. She gets mad at the kids, she’s resentful of me and she is a waste of time. I’m too much of a coward to do anything. I’m too afraid to lose everything. And that’s OK. It’s better this way. I just wanted to vent about it.<br><br>I hate my wife, but I don’t hate her for the things she does that make me mad. I hate her for what she makes me feel: resignation.