Girlfriend (38F) says she will never end her 14 year friendship with a woman who is deeply hurtful towards her because she "doesn't want to give her the satisfaction"

My girlfriend "Amanda" (38F) has a friend named "Tanya" (40F).<br><br>Amanda met this woman when she was in her early 20s at a gym class they both attended. Amanda was new to the gym having never worked out at one before, and Tanya was a "gym rat" who had been bodybuilding for years. Tanya took Amanda under her wing, and Amanda really valued the friendship since she had never had a lot of friends.<br><br>Amanda is a very sweet, gentle, caring person who always tries to do the right thing. Tanya sounds like a narcissist and has been deeply hurtful towards Amanda on many occasions. <br><br>In the early days of their friendship, Amanda valued Tanya's opinions on fitness because Tanya was more experienced and very knowledgeable. Amanda had never worked out much at all in her life and was new at it. <br><br>In the first few years of the friendship, Tanya would regularly make indirect, backhanded compliments to Amanda. For example, she would say something like "your arms are pretty toned for a girl who's never worked out before." Or "your legs are actually kind of strong relative to the rest of your body." <br><br>Amanda took those types of comments as genuine compliments, and was very trusting of Tanya. <br><br>One time Amanda asked Tanya for advice about how to get rid of some cellulite on her thighs, and Tanya just laughed and said "you will never get rid of that." Amanda was very hurt by that comment, but Tanya always had a way of making Amanda feel like she was overreacting.<br><br>In recent years, as Amanda has gotten older, Tanya has made some really mean comments towards her that are unrelated to fitness. Tanya has said things like "you're pretty for your age" and "your skin is in pretty good shape for a 30 something year old with no plastic surgery."<br><br>Amanda and I started dating a year ago, and when I was first getting to know her, she would tell me all about her friendship with Tanya. She valued the friendship so much and would talk about how much Tanya had helped her in life, but whenever she would talk about Tanya, it would always sound like she was describing some sort of toxic friend.<br><br>Amanda would always talk about how supportive Tanya was, but she would always follow up with a bunch of examples of Tanya saying really mean things to her. It always sounded like Tanya was very critical and hurtful towards Amanda. <br><br>I have met Tanya a few times. Every time I met Tanya, she was really nice to me. She always had critical things to say about Amanda though, and would often make jokes that were at Amanda's expense. <br><br>I had a talk with Amanda a few months ago about Tanya, and I explained to her that, in my opinion, I think Tanya sounds like she has a lot of jealousy and insecurity whenever Amanda does something good in her life. Amanda was offended by my opinion, and said that Tanya is a great friend and was there for her through a lot of tough times in life.<br><br>Then last week, Amanda came back to my place in tears because Tanya had made a very mean comment towards her at a party they were both at. Tanya said something like "you look decent for a 40 year old with no plastic surgery, but it's over for you after 40. I'm 42 now and I still look fantastic, but you always had a round face and a big stomach, so I'm sure it will catch up with you soon." <br><br>Tanya has a lot of followers on social media, and she regularly posts photos of herself working out or going to the beach. She looks like a fitness model. <br><br>Even after Tanya made that really mean comment, Amanda insists that she will always be friends with Tanya because she doesn't want to "give Tanya the satisfaction." I think this is a very immature way to approach the situation. I am worried about Amanda's self esteem because Tanya has made so many mean spirited comments towards her over the years.<br><br>I'm not sure what to do. I want Amanda to have good self esteem, and I don't think this woman is good for her.<br><br>&#x200B;