Newbie here, I have a question

So I'm 28 and I've been in 2 relationships in my life. The first one was when I was 20 and the second one ended 6 months ago. Both of them were with the same woman. My ex is honestly the most beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted, and interesting woman I've ever met in my life. I met her when I was 20 and we had a 2-year relationship. When I met her I was only 20 and I was immature and inexperienced I didn't know anything about women but she helped me and taught me a lot about what women like and how to satisfy them. I was young and I didn't know anything about long term relationships and how to maintain them. I was immature and I did a lot of mistakes in the relationship but she forgave me whenever I did something wrong. I made a lot of mistakes and I hurt her a lot. When we broke up after 2 years I realized that I missed her a lot and I couldn't move on and get over her. I even pursued her whenever I got drunk but she didn't talk to me. She even changed her phone number to avoid me. I realized that I was a complete loser and an idiot so I spent the past 6 years in self-improvement and self-development I worked a lot on myself and I even pursued my dream job and started my own business. After years of hard work, I got rich and I was successful. I have a good career and I earn a good amount of money I even have my own house and car.<br><br>So I realized that I'm not the same immature idiot that I was in the past I changed a lot and I became successful and mature. So I decided to pursue my ex again I contacted her and she said that she wants to meet up with me. I met up with her recently and she said that she's been in a lot of relationships in the past 6 years but none of them worked out and she was single for the past 3 years. She said that she realized that she wants to marry and have kids but she thinks that I'm the best guy that she ever dated so she wants to start a relationship with me again. I was on cloud nine when I heard this so we got back together. We started a new relationship and lived together recently. I treated her and cared for her a lot I was very loyal and faithful. I even made plans to marry and have kids with her. I thought that I found my soulmate and that she's the one for me but I was wrong. She cheated on me with another man and left me 6 months later. She even said that she's pregnant and she wants to abort the baby but then she changed her mind and said that she's going to keep the baby. I was devastated and heartbroken I thought that I lost everything in my life. I was even on the verge of suicide. All of my friends and family told me to move on and get over her but I couldn't do it.<br><br>I've been trying to convince her to come back to me for the past 6 months but she doesn't want to. I know that I'm a total loser and an idiot for doing this but I couldn't help myself. I even offered to adopt and raise her kid in hopes of getting back together but she rejected my offer. I realized that I'm never going to get her back and she's gone for good. I'm trying to move on and get over her but I'm struggling I'm even thinking about killing myself. I'm scared to date other women and I'm even thinking about going monk mode in order to avoid the pain of another failed relationship. I even realized that I'm watching a lot of MGTOW and black pill content so I'm even thinking about going down the MGTOW and black pill rabbit hole. I'm even thinking about staying single for the rest of my life and avoiding women altogether. I don't know what to do so I need your help and advice on this.<br><br>What should I do?<br><br>TL;DR I'm 28 and I've been in 2 relationships in my life. The first one was when I was 20 and the second one ended 6 months ago. Both of them were with the same woman. My ex is honestly the most beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted, and interesting woman I've ever met in my life. I met her when I was 20 and we had a 2-year relationship. When I met her I was only 20 and I was immature and inexperienced I didn't know anything about women but she helped me and taught me a lot about what women like and how to satisfy them. I was young and I didn't know anything about long term relationships and how to maintain them. I was immature and I did a lot of mistakes in the relationship but she forgave me whenever I did something wrong. I made a lot of mistakes and I hurt her a lot. When we broke up after 2 years I realized that I missed her a lot and I couldn't move on and get over her. I even pursued her whenever I got drunk but she didn't talk to me. She even changed her phone number to avoid me. I realized that I was a complete loser and an idiot so I spent the past 6 years in self-improvement and self-development I worked a lot on myself and I even pursued my dream job and started my own business. After years of hard work, I got rich and I was successful. I have a good career and I earn a good amount of money I even have my own house and car.<br><br>So I realized that I'm not the same immature idiot that I was in the past I changed a lot and I became successful and mature. So I decided to pursue my ex again I contacted her and she said that she wants to meet up with me. I met up with her recently and she said that she's been in a lot of relationships in the past 6 years but none of them worked out and she was single for the past 3 years. She said that she realized that she wants to marry and have kids but she thinks that I'm the best guy that she ever dated so she wants to start a relationship with me again. I was on cloud nine when I heard this so we got back together. We started a new relationship and lived together recently. I treated her and cared for her a lot I was very loyal and faithful. I even made plans to marry and have kids with her. I thought that I found my soulmate and that she's the one for me but I was wrong. She cheated on me with another man and left me 6 months later. She even said that she's pregnant and she wants to abort the baby but then she changed her mind and said that she's going to keep the baby. I was devastated and heartbroken I thought that I lost everything in my life. I was even on the verge of suicide. All of my friends and family told me to move on and get over her but I couldn't do it.<br><br>I've been trying to convince her to come back to me for the past 6 months but she doesn't want to. I know that I'm a total loser and an idiot for doing this but I couldn't help myself. I even offered to adopt and raise her kid in hopes of getting back together but she rejected my offer. I realized that I'm never going to get her back and she's gone for good. I'm trying to move on and get over her but I'm struggling I'm even thinking about killing myself. I'm scared to date other women and I'm even thinking about going monk mode in order to avoid the pain of another failed relationship. I even realized that I'm watching a lot of MGTOW and black pill content so I'm even thinking about going down the MGTOW and black pill rabbit hole. I'm even thinking about staying single for the rest of my life and avoiding women altogether. I don't know what to do so I need your help and advice on this.<br><br>What should I do?<br><br>Edit: I'm really thankful for everyone that commented and DMed me their advice. I'm even thankful for the negative and hurtful comments that I received because it made me realize that I need to move on and get over my ex. I realize that I'm being stupid and I should move on and avoid the pain of another failed relationship. I realize that I'm being a simp and I need to stop being one so I'm going to unfollow my ex on social media and I'm going to move on and focus on myself. I'm going to spend my time and energy on self-improvement and self-development. Those who think that I'm still being a simp and that I'm not moving on fast enough can kiss my ass.