My (32F) husband (34M) ranted about his ex in therapy and now I feel really shitty

I have always felt confident in our marriage, and I always thought that my husband (36M) was more taken with me than his ex-wife. They were high school sweethearts married right out of high school and divorced at age 22. Not uncommon, and I, too, was married briefly in my early 20s.<br><br>Three kids and 13 years later, and we've never really talked about his ex-wife. She's an acquaintance. Sometimes I've wondered if he was still in love with her, but that's basically it. I went to therapy several months ago, and so did he. We see different therapists, and we don't talk about what goes on in our sessions. <br><br>A few weeks ago, we were having dinner after work and my husband brought up something about his therapist remarking on how women do all of the emotional labor in relationships. Paraphrasing, my husband said she gave an example of how a lot of women will tell their husbands "you're so hot" and then watch the man get really excited and happy over something like that, as opposed to telling him that he "did such a good job this week at work," and men will actually love the latter better. <br><br>He said, "Yeah, my ex used to always say that I was hot, and it always felt kind of shallow."<br><br>Then he went on to talk about how she couldn't do anything by herself, was too insecure, was too clingy, etc., etc. Then he said, "I did all of the cooking, cleaning, and so forth, and she didn't help me around the house."<br><br>I had the feeling that he was comparing me to his ex, and I said, "Well, we have a cleaning service and I help with the cooking."<br><br>Then he said, "Yeah, it's definitely better this time around."<br><br>I kind of let the whole thing go because I don't want to keep comparing myself to her. But being inside of his head when he was ranting in therapy and forcing him to admit that he's happy our relationship is better kind of shitty. I mean, I already knew that his first marriage didn't work out because it sucked, but I had no idea that he felt so negatively about his ex. Can anyone offer me some advice on how to reconcile that his ex-wife is a total loser, and that his first marriage was a disaster, and how to feel better about the whole thing?