I’m a 22 year old girl and I’m terrified of being skinny.

Hey everyone, I’ve been consuming this sub for the past year now and at first I thought I was fat but now I just see myself as a “healthy weight”.<br>I’ve struggled with anorexia for a few years now, but at the time I didn’t think I was anorexic. I weighed 45 kg (I’m 169 cm tall) and I looked absolutely like a walking skeleton. I had this thing where I’d only eat once a day and then I’d eat only a little bit. I was terrified of food (and still am). I’m not 54 kg and I’m not terrified of food any more, but I do worry about my weight a lot. <br>I want to be a plus size (16-20) because I feel like I’d look good in that (I have curves), but I’m also scared of getting diabetes or some other disease. <br>What should I do? I don’t even know what to eat, I’m terrified of everything so I just stick to the same things. It’s just so hard. Any advice would be nice.