My husband admitted that he never loved me as much as a friendship with a woman and it hurts so much.

My husband and I have been together for 12 years and we have 2 beautiful children. I’ve given him everything he’s ever wanted. There’s not a kinder, gentler, or more loving person than me. <br><br>He’s always been very close with his childhood friend N. They met in middle school and were the typical buddy nerd type. I found out after our engagement that they both had feelings for each other in high school and they had a very “will they, won’t they” relationship for years. <br><br>So, when I met him, he told me he was attracted to women and he was just going through a phase. I really had no idea what to make of N’s part in his life and he assured me that it was just a friendship and that I had nothing to be concerned about. I trusted him and I accepted his word. <br><br>Fast forward to 6 years into our marriage and N gets divorced. I felt uncomfortable when she and my husband would bond over being single again but I trusted him and I didn’t think anything of it. <br><br>Then one day, he confessed to me that he’s always been bi and he’s with N. I was crushed and my world was turned upside down. He told me they were just trying out being with women and that he still loved me so much. We went to marriage counseling and he broke up with her. It seemed like things were going to be okay. <br><br>That was almost 2 years ago. I still feel hurt but I didn’t feel like he was lying to me again. I gave him complete space and I accepted that he’s bi and that he was just exploring. <br><br>Well, a few nights ago, we were all over at their house playing board games. N kept making jokes that were sexual in nature towards me and my husband was laughing along with her. It didn’t seem like anything was going on but, after everyone went to their room, he confessed to me that he still has feelings for N and he realizes now that he has loved her way more than me the entire time. He unmarried me and he went to stay with her. I found out he moved all his stuff out this morning. <br><br>I’m beyond devastated. I feel so stupid for still trusting him.