I’ve been lying to my husband for the past 8 years.

My ex was a great guy, but he was chubby and short. We dated for 3 years. When he asked me to marry him I said no. I was a student at the time and my family was pressuring me to get married young. I didn’t tell my ex the real reason, i just said “you’re short and chubby, i want a taller and hotter husband”. A few weeks later he gave me an ultimatum. I said no, he left me, and we eventually broke up.<br><br>After my course finished I met my current husband. He’s tall, hot and has a great job. All my family and ex-friends wanted me to introduce him to them. When they asked how come i didn’t like my ex’s appearance all these years ago, i said “he was short and chubby, there’s no way i’d be with him”. They kept pushing so i made up a reason why i didn’t want to introduce them to my ex, and that was because we were friends now and i didn’t want to give out the impression that we were dating.<br><br>Some time later when i started dating my husband, he wanted to meet my ex too. My ex and i were at the park. My husband came to the park with his cousin. My husband introduced us, my husband and his cousin left, my ex and i talked, then my ex and i ended up getting back together. That is, until he asked me to marry him. I said no again, and then eventually dumped him for good.<br><br>So 8 years ago my ex came over to pick up his last belonging. My husband wasn’t home at the time. When he came over he found me crying. I told him why i was crying. I expected sympathy. But instead he was furious with me. He asked who was the ex who came over the other day. I was confused. Then i remembered when he saw me and a guy at the park once. I couldn’t control my emotions. I broke down crying again. I told him everything. Why i didn’t want to marry my ex, and how i never loved him. He was still angry, but he didn’t throw me out or anything.<br><br>He’s been angry at me for years. I want to tell him now that there never was another guy. But i’m so scared of his reaction. I just don’t want to lose him. But at the same time i feel so ashamed. I never told a soul the real reason why i broke up with my ex. Not even my husband. I feel like such a horrible person.