AITA for telling my wife to either take my money or she can be responsible for our sons college tuition?

My son is 17 years old. He has always struggled with focus and paying attention. In school and out of school, it doesn't matter. He has been diagnosed as being slightly autistic but not enough to qualify for services. He is considered high functioning. He has a very hard time doing his school work but can spend hours on a video game.<br><br>Card games are a little different. Since the cards don't move around like a video game, he is able to focus for long periods of time on cards.<br><br>I love card games. I have played card games my entire life. I taught my son how to play cards when he was 5 years old. We have always had a great time together playing cards. I know that it probably helps him in some ways.<br><br>My wife hates card games. She hates that we spend so much time playing cards. I've tried to explain to her how it helps our son but she doesn't want to hear it.<br><br>I have worked my entire life to make sure my family is taken care of. I make a lot of money. I have since I was in my early 20s. I have always been able to afford anything I wanted. I have always been able to take care of my family and give them anything they ever wanted. My wife and our son have always had anything they wanted.<br><br>I think because I have been so successful in my life and have made so much money, my wife thinks that money grows on trees. She doesn't like to worry about saving money or planning for the future. She just wants to live for the moment.<br><br>I am the exact opposite. I plan everything. I was lucky when I was younger and made a lot of money but I know at some point in time my luck might run out. I currently make a lot of money but I can't make a lot of money forever. I need to plan for the day when I can no longer work.<br><br>I try to explain to my wife how important it is to save money. She doesn't want to hear it.<br><br>We live in the Midwest. I want my son to go to college here in the Midwest. I want to pay his tuition but I don't want to pay for all of his college expenses. I think he needs to learn some responsibility if he is going away to college.<br><br>My wife wants our son to go out of state. I think she wants him in a different state because she thinks I won't travel to visit him. She wants to pay for all of his college expenses including his car and spending money.<br><br>I won't pays his tuition if he goes out of state. I will pay his tuition if he stays in state. If he goes out of state, she will have to pay his tuition.<br><br>Since he was little, we have had a 3 bedroom house. My wife and I have a bedroom. Our son has a bedroom. We also have a room that isn't used.<br><br>When our son was little, the room was set up as a play room. After he got older, we turned it into a weight room. I don't lift weights much anymore so I told our son he could use the room for whatever he wanted. He turned it into a card room. He spends most of his time in the card room playing cards.<br><br>My wife hates the card room. She wants to turn the card room into a spa. A place she can go and relax and get away from everything.<br><br>I told her she could have the living room to turn into a spa. I said she and our son could share the living room. She said no. She wants the card room.<br><br>This was a few days ago. Since then, she has spent every waking moment trying to get me to let her have the card room. I'm getting really tired of her asking about it. I'm getting tired of her not taking no for an answer.<br><br>Last night, I said fuck it. I sat her down and asked her if she wanted to go out of state? She said yes.<br><br>She asked why.<br><br>I told her that I would pay his tuition if he stayed in state. If he went out of state, she would have to pay his tuition. If she paid his tuition, I said she wouldn't have to worry about the card room because we would have to move into a 2 bedroom apartment. She could have one bedroom as her spa. Our son and I could share the other bedroom.<br><br>She said no. She said she didn't want to have to pay his tuition. Which means we are staying in state and the card room stays the card room.<br><br>She told her sister what I said and her sister thinks I am an asshole.<br><br>I don't think I'm an asshole. I think she needs to stop spending money and start saving money.<br><br>AITA?