[UPDATE] A very catholic girl I’m seeing told me she won’t have sex until marriage.

Hello. Some time ago I posted about a very catholic girl that I’m seeing. She’s told me she won’t have sex until marriage. I did not bring it up, she did, and from the moment she did, I have been very clear that I will absolutely not marry anyone before having sex with them. I made it clear I wasn’t being mean or vulgar, just straightforward and honest.<br><br>I had a bunch of comments telling me to “respect her decision”. A lot of the comments were well meaning but very misguided. Truth is the vast majority of the world doesn’t wait until marriage. It’s a weird thing to do, and as a man who has been having sex since high school, I did not want to wait until marriage for obvious reasons. A woman (or a man) has every right to make decisions about their own bodies and sex lives and should be free to make any decision they want for themselves. But I don’t have to accept those decisions if I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who waits until marriage. She is free to wait, and I am free to date other people. <br><br>Anyway, the relationship went on for a few more weeks. She was very nice and I really liked her and was starting to develop more serious feelings. But I remained very clear, I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask someone to marry them without having had any sex. I have been married before and divorced, and I know what it’s like to be married and how important sex is to a marriage. I will not remarry until I’ve had sex with the person. <br><br>Two weeks or so ago, we were a alone in her car. We had been kissing and had been intimate in various ways, but never intercourse (or anything close). Out of nowhere, she asked me if she could go down on me. I was very surprised. We had never discussed anything like this specifically before, but in the moment I was like “well if you want to…”. <br><br>She went down on me. <br><br>She went down on me again the next time we were alone. This time, after she was finished, she asked me to return the favor. I did, and she seemed to really enjoy herself. <br><br>A few nights later we were at her place alone. She has roommates but they were away. We did the bedroom things. <br><br>It was pretty good. I’m a little older and I have been around the block a few times, but she was fairly experienced for someone who had never done it before. <br><br>In the days following she was super excited about the whole thing. She was texting me very sexy and dirty things, and last night when we were together alone we did it again. It’s been a confusing but fun few weeks. I’m happy to be able to be someone’s first time, I guess. <br><br>Anyway. I thought you guys would like to hear the update. I don’t know if she had changed her mind before she met me or she just decided to with me, but I’m not going to question it. I’m happy.<br><br><br>EDIT: I should probably clarify a few things. <br><br>1. I never asked her to have sex or to change her mind. I made it very clear from the moment she brought it up that I wasn’t going to marry anyone without having sex with them first, but at no point did I ask her to change her decisions or try to convince her to have sex. That’s what a lot of the comments are not getting. I wasn’t trying to convince her to do anything she didn’t want to do. I was only concerned with being clear about my own desires and decisions. <br><br>2. We had been intimate in various ways. We had been bare down there for some time. She had been touching me for some time. We were in the process of getting there, is my point. <br><br>3. I don’t care if she was lying and wasn’t a virgin. First timer is what matters to me. I have been around the block enough to not care if technically speaking she was a virgin or not. <br><br>4. Stop projecting your own sexuality onto me. I’m a different person with a different history and different preferences. I don’t judge you for wanting to wait until marriage, but you also don’t have to judge me for not wanting to. It’s a strange sentiment.