My husband’s young coworkers were sexually harassing me and he did nothing.

Two years ago, my husband got a new job in tech and we had to move for it. I was 32, he was 33. I had a good job too and had to leave it behind. I looked for jobs in my field but couldn’t find any so I started tutoring and occasionally subbing because it was the only thing available. My husband’s job paid well though and I didn’t really need to work, but it felt weird to just sit at home and go on walks all day.<br><br>Anyway, I noticed my husband had a friend at work. His name was Will and he was very friendly. He’d come over to watch football sometimes with my husband. He brought his roommate Luke over and Luke’s girlfriend Rachel over and we’d all have dinner together… it was fun. Will was very nice and I enjoyed having him over. My husband didn’t seem to have trouble making friends at work but Will and Luke were the ones he was closest to. I liked all of Will’s friends.<br><br>One of Will’s friends asked me out. I politely told him I was married, but thanks.<br><br>Then another one asked me out. And another. It was just friendly, I said no, we all moved on with our lives.<br><br>But then Will started making jokes about my legs, my breasts, my butt, my face. He called me sweetie and honey and I told him to stop, but he just laughed and said he was joking. I told him not to do it anymore but he kept doing it. He told me I was pretty, hot, that I looked good in clothes… it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to do because my husband really liked Will and I didn’t want to ruin that. I would tell Will to stop, to watch what he said, and he’d be shocked that I was being so sensitive and he’d stop for a few days and then it would happen all over again.<br><br>I told my husband what Will was saying and doing and he said to just ignore Will and Will would stop. But it didn’t stop. It got worse. Will started telling me I was wearing clothes too tight and I looked really sexy when I was subbing. I told Will he needed to stop and he said he was just trying to be nice.<br><br>So I asked my husband if he’d talk to Will and he said no, that he couldn’t tell Will what to do and that I should just stop hanging out with them. I’d been included with Will and his friends for about a year and it was nice to have friends. It was painful to be cut out and I told my husband I didn’t want to just leave the friend group because of him, and that he needed to stop. My husband said he couldn’t control Will and I needed to just accept it or leave.<br><br>I decided to just confront Will in person, one on one, and I asked him to stop. He apologized and said he was sorry. And then he kissed me. And he said would I like to take our friendship to the next level? I was shocked and said no. I told him he was making me uncomfortable and that he needed to leave and he said okay, alright, sorry. But he texted me the next day and said I was sexy and beautiful and he really thought we could be together. And I told him to stop and to never text me again.<br><br>So I told my husband and he asked me why I hadn’t just ignored it and left him alone like he told me to. I said I thought that Will needed to hear it in person. My husband said that wasn’t smart and now we can’t hang out with Will anymore.<br><br>So Will stopped hanging out with us. But then my husband started leaving Will’s texts up on our computer. My husband didn’t have a password and I saw that Will was still hitting on him, saying that he was really attracted to me and he really wanted to be with me. And my husband would just laugh it off and tell me I needed to let go that I couldn’t control what Will said or did.<br><br>Then my husband’s best friend asked me out and I was shocked. I thought Zach and my husband were friends. I told Zach no and he said he just couldn’t help himself when he saw me. And my husband accepted that. He said that he was okay with his friends being attracted to me. But then I found some more texts on our computer with Will and Luke asking my husband to share me. And my husband said that of course he’d never share me but that he knew I was very attractive and would laugh off their requests.<br><br>So I started staying home more, alone, when my husband went out. But I’d always find texts from Will or Luke or Zach saying they were looking forward to seeing me and how lucky my husband was and my husband would just tell me they were joking, to not take it seriously. I didn’t want to be treated like a piece of meat, I told him, and he said I needed to just ignore it and it would go away. But it didn’t go away.<br><br>Two months ago, I came home from subbing and my husband was already home and Will and Luke were in our living room, with my husband. They said they were in the neighborhood and stopped by to say hello, but I didn’t believe it. I told my husband I didn’t want Will or Luke in our house and Will and Luke said they understood and were leaving.<br><br>But I was really mad. I told my husband that Will was not our friend, he was creepy, and I didn’t want him in our house and I didn’t want to be around him. My husband said Will wasn’t a bad guy and Will really liked him and he wanted to be friends with Will. And I said Will is sexually harassing me and my husband said okay, fine, he’d tell Will not to contact us again.<br><br>And then two weeks ago, Will called and asked my husband if we could hang out again and my husband said okay, Will promised he wouldn’t harass me anymore and my husband said that would be fine.<br><br>I was furious. I told my husband Will was not our friend, he was not welcome in our house, and he was not to ever invite Will over again. My husband said Will was a friend and he couldn’t just drop Will because Will was being friendly and complimentary and asking me out. I told him he had to choose between Will and me and he told me Will was our friend and would continue to be our friend.<br><br>Will is not our friend. He is a sick, creepy guy and my husband’s enabling him and protecting him. My husband knows Will has asked me to sleep with him many times. My husband knows Will asked him to share me. My husband knows I don’t want Will in my life or Will’s friends in my life… but my husband is still protecting and enabling Will. Will is not a friend to my husband. But my husband is acting like he’s loyal to Will.<br><br>I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking to my husband, I’ve tried going to therapy together, I’ve tried creating boundaries and telling my husband to stay away from these people… but nothing has changed. My husband says Will is his friend and he won’t dump them. And I don’t want to live with someone who thinks it’s okay for me to be treated this way. But I also don’t want to leave him.<br><br>I don’t know what to do. Maybe I just need to leave.