My Boyfriend Peed On Me

Hey internet, I know this post isn't related to 4chan, but I figured you guys could help. I know this sub is full of freaks, weirdos, and the chronically online. I can't tell anyone in real life about this because it's so fucking embarrassing, and I don't think any normal person would think this is okay.<br><br>A couple nights ago, my boyfriend asked me if he could piss on me. I was taken aback, so much so that I didn't say anything. Instead, my body locked up and I had a mental breakdown silently in my head and [kind of] blacked out. I think this is called dissociation (hearing your voice in your head argue with your other voice in your head kind of situation) but I don't know. Anyway, he did it. Yeah, I know, this is the part where everyone calls me a dumb bitch for not saying no, but, **I was so fucking scared; I didn't know what to say.** And he did it anyway. Like wtf even is that? He asked me, and then gave me no chance to say yes or no, and then he did it anyway. You guys don't know how fucking terrified I was. It hurt so much, and it burned, and I was so humiliated.<br><br>The next day [yesterday], I confronted him about it. He acted like I had no right to be upset and that I was just being a "baby" because "it's just pee." But I was fucking terrified and he Kind of hurt me, and humiliated me. I told him that it was just weird, and that I didn't like it, and he acted like I was the weird one for not liking being treated like a dirty ashtray. And he won't take no for an answer. It's like he never will; he says no because he says yes to everything, and then goes ahead and does it anyway. But he says "no" because he thinks that I'm the bad one for not being into that. But the thing is, I think he wants to degrade and humiliate me on purpose because he believes that he is better than me and that he is "superior" to me. And I don't think he should be allowed to do that. But he just laughs it off and says that I can't tell him no. Yeah, I know, another stupid bitch who lets her boyfriend treat her like dirt. But I don't even know what to say. Should I just ghost him? Break up with him? I don't even know. I just want to fucking die.<br><br>And for the people who say "well you can just piss on him too." Yeah no, that's not how it works. I don't want to hurt him, and I'm not like that. All I want is for him to stop and to treat me with respect and dignity. But he says no. Even though I said no, he won't take no for an answer.<br><br>Edit:<br><br>To the people who are defending my boyfriend: you guys are seriously fucking weird. This is not normal and I will not be convinced otherwise. I will not be guilt-tripped into thinking that I'm weird for not liking being pissed on. And I will never think that it's okay for someone to treat another person like that. You people can go fuck yourselves.<br><br>And to the people saying that I should piss on him: like I said, I don't want to hurt him. I just want him to stop, and I want him to treat me with respect. If pissing on him was going to make him stop, then sure, fine. But it's not going to. He's just going to laugh and tell me to stop being a bitch and stop complaining. And it's not just about "getting him back." I just want to be treated with respect.<br><br>Edit #2:<br><br>I've thought about it, and I've decided I'm going to break up with him. I'm done. I'm so fucking done and I'm not going to deal with him anymore. A lot of the comments convinced me that I just can't let him walk all over me. I can't act like this is okay. I need to stand up for myself and end things with him, and I'm going to do that. Thank you to everyone who helped me.