All i ever wanted was a relationship with my beloved sister. She doesn't feel like that.

I'm (F 37) not sure if she ever felt like that, i just know that she doesn't anymore. My sister (34) told me she's going to have a child with her long time boyfriend in march.<br><br>I know it isn't fair to her to be still in love with her and it isn't fair to her boyfriend either. I deeply regret the time when i let myself act like i wasn't in love with my sister. She told me she could forgive me for not going all the way with her and that she knows i'm still in love with her but she doesn't feel like that anymore and i destroyed her trust and she can't keep being my gay best buddy. I'm not sure who hurt me more, her or her boyfriend who told me i should let her go. I told him i think of her when i have sex with other women but he said that i should let her go. It's hard because i'm still in love with her. I wish it wouldn't be the case but it's hard because she started to get her life on track again. She told me she's gonna marry him this year. I told her i'm happy for her and she'd always be special to me but she said that's beside the point.<br><br>I'm not sure how i should feel. I'm not sure what i should do. She told me she could forgive me and it would be best if we have only a normal sibling relationship, because everything else is too much for her. I know i shouldn't be mad at her but i feel like i've failed.