I (23f) am so tired of people assuming I’m a virgin.

This has been a problem for me my whole life. I just found a Chambers account today, and I’ve come to realize that I’m not alone in this. <br><br>As a child, my mom made it very clear that my purpose in life was to marry a man and have children. I was not allowed to go to any kind of school function with friends, because my mom was adamant that I be “the pretty girl” in school. She never let me do anything that I wanted, unless it was “appropriate for a lady.” I was not allowed to go to parties or to sleepovers, I couldn’t wear anything cute, or get a tattoo. But I could get my ears pierced at 13, and my belly button pierced at 16. I was not allowed to date, and I was not allowed to go out with anyone. She would take my phone from me and spy on all of the boys I talked to at school. <br><br>She even forbade me from doing normal activities with boys, such as working on a group project. I was a B student, and had to work with a C student. She made me sit in the front row at school, so I could see the teacher better. She would not let me play sports, ride a bike, or ride a skateboard. She was adamant that I was a “princess,” and would not be allowed to “ruin my beauty.” <br><br>When I was 11, I realized that she didn’t even care if I was happy. She just wanted to marry me off to a man. She told me that I was “her ticket out of this house,” and that I would be so grateful to be living in such a nice home. She would say things like “If I can’t be a model, then you should be. I want people to think that you are beautiful.” <br><br>I didn’t understand that I wasn’t allowed to have any kind of friendship with someone of the opposite sex, until I was 14. I had just started talking to a boy in school, and I was so excited to be able to text him. But when my mom found out that he was cute, she was furious. She took my phone, and told me that she didn’t want me talking to him, because “he’s just flirting with you.” <br><br>At 16, I got my first boyfriend. My mom was so furious, because I told her that he had kissed me. I had no idea what sex was, so she told me that we were having sex. I was so scared, that I broke up with him. When I told her that I just wanted to kiss, she laughed at me. I never told her the truth, because I knew that I would be punished. <br><br>At 17, I had my first real boyfriend. This is the boyfriend that everyone assumes I’m still with. My mom had told all of my friends that I was a virgin, and that they shouldn’t even ask me out. When I told her that she was lying, she told me that she was just trying to protect me. <br><br>I was told that my first boyfriend was going to marry me. She told me that she was going to teach me how to be a wife, and that I was so lucky that I had such a nice man. She would take my phone from me, and spy on him. She would tell me everything that he was saying to me, and I had to tell her everything that he said back. She told me that he was just flirting with me, and that he didn’t mean any of it. <br><br>When he dumped me, I was devastated. I was told that I had to wait until he came back, and that I wasn’t allowed to talk to any other boy. I started talking to another boy, who told me that he didn’t think I was a virgin. When my mom found out, she beat me so badly that I almost died. I told her that he was right, and I was told that I was going to hell. <br><br>When I turned 18, I left. I didn’t even tell her that I was going. I just packed my bags, and left. I got a job and a place of my own. I’ve never told her that I’m still alive, and I’m not sure if she ever found out. I still live in the same state, and I still use the same last name. <br><br>I’ve had several boyfriends, and I’ve even had sex. I don’t have any social media accounts, because my mom knows my name, and my real age. I still live in the same city as her. I have no friends, and I never leave the apartment. I don’t have a job, because I’m too afraid to take the bus, and my mom still lives where I grew up. <br><br>I still live in the same city, but I’m happy. I’m working a job that I love, and I’m finally living on my own. I’m making new friends, and I’ve even had a couple of dates. I’m finally feeling like a normal person, and not just a slave. <br><br>But every time I go out, I get this look. It’s this look of “I knew you were a virgin” and “I told you so.” I know that they’re just jealous of me, because I look so good. I know that I’m not ugly, but I just don’t get it. Why do people assume that I’m a virgin? <br><br>I’ve told some of my friends, and they just think it’s funny. They think that my mom is a bitch, and that she deserves to be hurt. But I don’t want to hurt her. I just want to be free. I want to be able to live my life. I don’t want her to control me anymore. I want to be able to be myself. I want to be able to talk to the person that I want to talk to, without her permission. I want to be able to say that I don’t want to talk to her, without her punishing me. <br><br>But I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to hurt her. I don’t know how to make her stop. I just know that I want to be free. I don’t want to be treated like a child anymore. I don’t want to be treated like a princess. I just want to be me. <br><br>I’m sorry that I’m not very clear about this, and that this is so long. I just want to be free. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to be controlled anymore. I don’t want to be treated like a child. I just want to be me.