The secret to immortality is to just live with an attitude of "meh, will get around to dying at some point"

I was thirteen when I first learned about the secret to immortality. I'd come across the short and abrupt sentence in a small leather bound book in the depths of our town library.<br><br>"The secret to immortality is to just live with an attitude of 'meh, will get around to dying at some point'."<br><br>I stared at the brief passage for a few minutes, wondering if it was serious. It sounded like something my dad might say, half-joking and half\-\-\- well, serious. I tried to think of everything he'd said in that tone, and how many of them were actually true.<br><br>Which, now that I thought about it, was a lot.<br><br>I flipped through the pages of the book, looking for some sort of key, an instruction manual, a list of things to do and not to do. There was nothing. I flipped back to the original page and read it again.<br><br>"The secret to immortality is to just live with an attitude of 'meh, will get around to dying at some point'."<br><br>Curious, I approached Mr. Evans, the librarian. He's an old man, probably in his eighties or something, but he has this weird grin on his face all the time. It isn't creepy, just \-\-\- weird. The kind of grin you see in babies who don't quite understand why they're smiling, just that they have to. I figured he'd be the best person to ask.<br><br>"Mister Evans?"<br><br>"Hmm?"<br><br>"I found this book, and I'm wondering how to use it?"<br><br>All he did was nod and reply with "That's good! I really do need to get around to dying at some point."<br><br>"Oh, will you soon?"<br><br>"Not really."<br><br>I frowned and walked away.<br><br>I read the passage again and stared at it for a good while. I had no idea what to make of it. There were no instructions, no warnings, no indications on what was\*n't\* okay to do. So I decided to wing it. I'd been wanting to get around to cleaning my room anyway, so I might as well put it off. I'd been meaning to do some homework, let's forget about it till later. I had a test, but meh, doesn't matter if I pass or fail.<br><br>A few months passed and nothing much happened, life went on as it usually did. But here's the thing, I'd fallen off my bunk bed awkwardly when I was seven and broken my nose. I'd gotten over it, but some mornings I still woke up with a headache, and I'd always had a slightly hard time breathing.<br><br>The morning after I read the passage, I woke up feeling fine. The headache was gone, my breathing was good. I'd forgotten about the passage at that time and thought nothing of it.<br><br>It wasn't until a week later I realized that the headache had never come back. I'd been feeling rather good for days, aside from the cold I'd caught, which would explain why it had taken me a while to notice.<br><br>But the cold got worse instead of better. I had to miss school, I was sneezing so hard I thought I was going to throw up. My mom took me to the doctor, who gave me some pills and sent me home.<br><br>Two days later, I felt fine. I didn't even have a headache anymore.<br><br>A year passed since that day. I had a few more colds, but they never lasted long. I never had headaches, I never felt tired, I always felt *fine*.<br><br>And that's when I realized that passage really did work, and I was immortal, or close to it.<br><br>It was a little bit of a bummer, to be honest, but I wasn't in any rush to die or anything.<br><br>So I decided to wing it.