Today is the first time where I really felt like I failed as a teacher.

I’m feeling defeated and I want to know if I’m alone. I’ve been a teacher for 13 years. Each year I typically have one or two kids with severe disabilities requiring one on one aides. They require large amounts of accommodations and every year I sit down with their parents to develop a plan that is individualized to their needs. <br><br>Well, this year I had a student with an IEP and a diagnosis of autism. I met with his parents and developed his IEP. He has a full-time aide. We had a bumpy start to the year but then it seemed to get better. Parents were excited for him. Progress was being made. I was proud of him. <br><br>Well, we just had parent teacher conferences last week. He’s obviously struggling with certain skills and it was obvious he needed more support. So I met with his parents and offered more support and they were not excited. They were actually quite pissed. <br><br>At first I was lost as to why. I felt like I was being attacked. I was offering him more help and they were getting mad at me? So I asked them if everything is okay. They opened up to me and told me that their son has come home from school crying a few times a week. <br><br>They showed me text messages that he had sent them during lunch saying “I hate school” and “I don’t want to be here.” He’s never told them anything like that. He was so excited to be in fifth grade. So of course being a mom I immediately went into mom mode and got upset. <br><br>I was like “what? Where was his aide?!” And they told me that the aide was there. Their son even said that the aide was right next to him. So it absolutely makes no sense as to why he’s coming home upset. <br><br>This absolutely broke my heart. I’m a mom. I know how parents feel. I offered to call the principal and loop her into the conversation. They agreed. <br><br>Before we called the principal, I asked them “what do you want me to do? I want to fix this. I want your son to be happy and successful.” <br>They told me to fire the aide. That she sucks and she’s the problem. They told me their son hates the aide. I was shocked. I had no idea. I asked if they had ever communicated this to me and they said no. I asked why and they told me they felt bad saying anything bad about the aide. <br><br>So I called the principal and told her everything. When I told her they wanted me to fire the aide, she was shocked. Apparently the parents had never communicated this to her either. <br><br>This absolutely pisses me off. I’m so mad that the parents didn’t tell me. I feel like I was absolutely blindsided. That poor kid has been suffering and I could have fixed it. That poor kid comes to school and hates it every day because I failed him. <br><br>I feel absolutely terrible. I don’t know what to do. I want to cry. The principal told me she would absolutely fire the aide and we would get him a new one. But I just can’t stop feeling like I failed him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how this was my fault. I have no idea what I could have done differently. <br><br>I just feel awful for this kid. He deserves better. I need advice. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve absolutely failed this kid.