Want to hug a stranger.

I'm in my 40's, pretty shy and introverted. I had an extremely awful childhood and have had to work twice as hard as most to escape the roots of my upbringing. I'm a mom of 2 now. I have worked hard to provide for them, to give them a good home, to be involved. My son says he will be a teacher. My daughter said she wants to work helping others.<br><br>And I want to hug complete strangers.<br><br>I've been working with a therapist. But everything is so terrifying. I feel like having a complete mental breakdown when I try to think about things. As an adult I've learned that everything is so much worse than I had realized. I feel broken in ways that I cannot heal.<br><br>I want to hug strangers. Because I want to let them know they are safe. I want them to know they have a place in the world and they are loved. Because I need that myself, and I figure it's far easier to give than to receive. I don't want to be touched or comforted. I just want to comfort.<br><br>But I'm terrified. I'm terrified of being seen as creepy or weird. I'm terrified they will call the cops on me. I'm terrified of everything.<br><br>But I want to hug strangers.<br><br>I want to let them know they are safe. I want them to know it's okay to be scared but it's going to be okay.<br><br>I'm terrified of pretty much everything.<br><br>I want to hug strangers and let them know they are loved and valued.<br><br>I wish I could hug myself.