28 F. My gender has dishonoured me. I need to know if it’s gonna happen to my daughter too.

I have never been the victim of sexual assault. I have never been the victim of domestic violence. I have never been the victim of sexual harassment. I have never been raped. My life has been 100% completely safe from the male gender. I have never been emotionally manipulated by a male, I have never been the victim of male ego, I have never felt unsafe around a male, I have never felt objectified by a male. <br><br>Why? Because I have never had any interaction with any males. Growing up, I was homeschooled, I never went to school, I never got invited to birthday parties, I never went to church, I never was enrolled in any extracurricular activities. I grew up with the understanding that it’s better to be safe than sorry. I had complete control of my life. Everything was perfect. <br><br>But then I had a daughter (I am bi and I conceived my child through a sperm donor). I was absolutely horrified when I found out I was going to have a daughter. A daughter. A little girl. The gender I was taught to fear, to grow up and hate and to despise. A daughter. How could this happen to me? Why did I get a daughter? <br><br>I was so, so, so flustered and stressed and confused. I just wanted to get an abortion. Abort the baby. Abort it before it was too late. I felt like I was betrayed. Betrayed by my own gender. I wanted to scream at my own gender. I wanted to beat and punch my own gender. <br><br>But then I calmed down. Why did I want to have an abortion? I wanted to have a child. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to see my child grow up and be happy. I wanted to see my child pursue their passions. I wanted to be a good mother. Why did I want to abort my child? Because it was a girl. Because I was taught to hate my own gender. Because I was taught that it was better to be a boy. <br><br>But what if I raised my little girl right? What if I taught her that it was better to be a girl? What if I let her live the life I was never able to experience? What if I let her go to school? What if I let her go to the park? What if I let her go to church? What if I let her play sports? What if I let her pursue art? What if I let her play an instrument? What if I let her join clubs? <br><br>I knew I had to do it. I knew I had to give my daughter the life I always wanted. I knew I had to teach her to love her gender. I knew I had to let her live. <br><br>And then it hit me. An extreme feeling of panic and horror. My daughter is going to grow up with males. She is going to be surrounded by males. At school, at the park, at church, during sports, during art class, during band practice, during clubs. Males are going to be everywhere. <br><br>I felt like I was going to throw up. My baby girl. My sweet little girl. How could I do this to her? How could I let her grow up with males? How could I put my baby girl in harm’s way? I felt like the worst mother in the entire universe. <br><br>But then I calmed down. I thought about it. Males hurt females. Females do not hurt males. Males are the ones who rape, who kill, who beat, who manipulate, who harass, who assault. Females do not do this. Females are better. Females are safe. My daughter is a female. My daughter is safe. My daughter is better. <br><br>So I am going to let my daughter grow up. I am going to let her live her life. And my daughter is going to be safe. Because my daughter is a female.