I went from being a lamb to a fuckin wolf

So I've always been sober, never smoked weed or drank, I never liked the idea of being high and I never had much of a chance to do drugs since I live in a very conservative town. <br>When I was 22 I had my first drink and I enjoyed it, the next year I smoked weed for the first time and it was very fun. <br>Then I met my first girlfriend and after a year and a half of dating she surprised me with acid. I took 1 pill and we had the most fun night ever, the next day I was a little worried but I felt fine. <br>We broke up a year later and a year after that I started hanging out with this new girl, she invited me to take shrooms and I said yes. <br>I never took drugs alone but I had lots of fun with shrooms, we did it together 4 times and each time was very very fun. <br>I found out she was seeing other people so I left her. <br>I decided to take drugs alone and the first time was very fun. <br>Then everything went to shit, I started noticing weird visuals everywhere and I was very paranoid, I thought I had a mental illness and I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. <br>I stopped taking drugs for 4 months but then I started again, it didn't help with my depression and the visuals were worse and I was very paranoid. <br>I stopped again and after 3 months I started smoking weed and drinking. <br>I had a lot of fun but I started to feel some visuals creeping up and my anxiety was high again. <br>I haven't taken drugs for 3 months and I'm planning on quitting. <br>It's the hardest thing I've ever done, I really enjoyed being high and I miss that, and even though I hate being in a dark state of mind, I'd rather drink than be sober. <br>But I'm gonna try and I'm gonna do it.