My Incest Journey

Hey guys, kind of a throw away post but I needed to get this off my chest. <br><br>Not many places to talk about this stuff and I’m hoping I wont get banned lol. <br><br>My father was an abusive alcoholic that was never in the picture. <br><br>My older brother and I were pretty close. <br><br>When I was 13 my brother told me he loved me and that he wished I was his girlfriend. <br><br>I was obviously confused but I had a lot of feelings for my big brother. <br><br>I would watch him sleep sometimes and see him in the shower. <br><br>He definitely helped me discover my sexuality. <br><br>I remember the first time I masturbated to the thoughts of him. <br><br>It felt so good and I was so ashamed. <br><br>I tried to push it away but I definitely had a lot of crush feelings for him. <br><br>I kind of avoided him in my teens but he was always around. <br><br>I had my first boyfriend at 16 and when I told my brother he looked really upset. <br><br>I didn’t know what to think but he seemed happy when I broke up with my boyfriend. <br><br>When I turned 18 I got my own apartment and it was weird because I definitely didn’t talk to my brother anymore but I missed him. <br><br>I spent so much time with him as a kid. <br><br>I did drugs and got more into partying to cope with whatever I was feeling. <br><br>I didn’t see my brother for a while but he would message me sometimes. <br><br>I met another guy and had a serious relationship for a year. <br><br>I told my brother I was with someone and he looked angry but he was trying to be supportive. <br><br>I think I used my boyfriend as a way to get over my brother. <br><br>I broke up with my boyfriend when I was 20 and I was pretty alone. <br><br>I barely got any messages from my brother and I felt like I hurt him. <br><br>I decided I wanted to see him and I texted him. <br><br>It was kind of awkward but he said he wanted to see me and he wanted us to go back to how things were before. <br><br>I was so nervous when I saw him and he was really quiet. <br><br>I told him I was sorry for avoiding him and he told me he missed me. <br><br>I started spending more time with him but it was weird. <br><br>I missed my brother but I also wanted him. <br><br>One night we were hanging out and he was really quiet. <br><br>I asked him if he was okay and he told me no. <br><br>He said he missed me and he loved me. <br><br>He started crying and I was so confused. <br><br>I told him I loved him too and he asked if I would give him a hug. <br><br>When I hugged him I felt so weird but so good. <br><br>He touched my hair and said I was so pretty. <br><br>I started crying too. <br><br>I think we both realized we had more than sister/brother feelings. <br><br>He started telling me he would dream about me and think about me all the time. <br><br>He asked if I thought about him in that way and I told him yes. <br><br>He kind of smiled and said he was so happy. <br><br>We talked for hours and we ended up sleeping together. <br><br>We cuddled so close and I felt so safe. <br><br>The next morning he told me he loved me again. <br><br>I told him I loved him too. <br><br>He said we’re not brother and sister. <br><br>I agreed. <br><br>We started hanging out more and more. <br><br>We told everyone we were dating. <br><br>They didn’t believe us and they told us we were lying. <br><br>They called us freaks. <br><br>I started doing more drugs and so did my brother. <br><br>We were partying a lot. <br><br>We met a girl at a party and we both had sex with her. <br><br>It was kind of weird but it was also fun. <br><br>I don’t think my brother would do it again. <br><br>It was different at the time. <br><br>We both moved in together and it was great. <br><br>We were spending so much time together. <br><br>We had sex all the time and it felt so good. <br><br>We were both addicted to drugs and it just got worse. <br><br>I started getting really sick and I got sent to rehab. <br><br>They made me stop seeing my brother but before I left rehab he sent me a letter. <br><br>He told me how much he loved me and he would do anything to be with me again. <br><br>He said he would quit doing drugs and he would do anything to be clean. <br><br>He told me he missed me so much. <br><br>I cried like crazy. <br><br>I felt so bad for leaving him. <br><br>I got out of rehab and I definitely didn’t plan on seeing my brother but when he picked me up and I saw him I felt like I got punched in the gut. <br><br>I missed him so much. <br><br>I was crying when I saw him. <br><br>He told me he quit doing drugs and he was sober. <br><br>I told him I missed him and loved him. <br><br>He told me he loved me too. <br><br>I told him I wasn’t supposed to be around him and he kind of smiled and told me fuck them. <br><br>I definitely wasn’t thinking clearly when I saw him again. <br><br>I definitely didn’t plan on being with him again. <br><br>I don’t know what happened but I never went back to the people who were trying to keep us apart. <br><br>I spent the night at his house and we definitely didn’t have sex. <br><br>We definitely didn’t kiss either. <br><br>I slept in his bed and he cuddled me. <br><br>I felt so safe. <br><br>He told me he would never let me go again. <br><br>The next morning he made me breakfast and coffee. <br><br>I told him I couldn’t stay with him and he looked really upset. <br><br>I told him I had to leave and he asked if he could come with me. <br><br>I told him no. <br><br>He started crying and told me he couldn’t be without me again. <br><br>I kind of smiled and told him we could be together again. <br><br>He hugged me and told me he loved me. <br><br>I told him I loved him too. <br><br>The last 2 years have been hard but its worth it. <br><br>Im definitely sober now and so is my brother. <br><br>Im so happy and Im so in love. <br><br>Sorry if this post is weird. <br><br>Just needed to get this off my chest. <br><br>Thanks for listening.