I screamed for a very long time

I am an ditraining nurse working in an ICU and I have never experienced anything like this before. I don't know if I believe in ghosts or if I do, I've never considered the idea of them until now. Everything seemed normal for my shift until my coworker, Sarah, pranced in extremely excited. She is generally not a bubbly person, so I asked her what happened. She told me that she finally got the night shift position of her dreams, a rotation in one of the best ICUs in the area. Her and I went to school together and I was really happy for her. I had not gotten my first pick, but she did. <br><br>Sarah told me that she was going to shadow the murses on day shift for a couple of days to get to know everyone and get the gist of what everyone's responsibilities were. I asked her if I could do the same, as I don't know one person in that ICU and I may have to cover a shift randomly. She told me that I could, and everyone ended up agreeing that it was a great idea. <br><br>I met with a young resident who was going to let me shadow her that morning. She didn't seem that enthusiastic but said that it would be good to have a rotation in case I was working late and they were short staffed and I wouldn't have to figure anything out in the middle of the night. She seemed nice, so I let it go. <br><br>I followed her to the nurses station and the first thing she did was hand me a five page list of admissions. I was shocked that someone would leave a list of the patients that long for someone to cover. She explained that whatever was listed under each of the patients was what needed to be done on morning rounds. Under each patient, in all capital letters, was one of two phrases: "1. Administer this drug 2. Administer that drug 3. Do this, 4. Do that" or "Make sure she is okay." There were other phrases written like "Give them this drug" or "Do this" but I'll get into that in a bit. I asked her why some patients had that information written and she told me to pay more attention to the list. I looked at the list again and I noticed that the phrases I mentioned above, only the "Sure she is okay" were listed for female patients. She explained that I would be covering the female patients that night. <br><br>I asked her about the patients that were listed with the longer phrases and she said that those patients would not be part of my responsibilities. I asked her why some of the patients had such long lists for all of the things that needed to be done for them in the morning and why that wasn't the case for all of the patients. She just said that the patients I would be covering were a lot more complicated cases. I was really confused that the male patients seemed to be the more complicated cases, but she didn't seem to want to answer any of my questions so I let it go. <br><br>I asked her what drug was listed for the patients I was covering and she just said, "The same drug." I asked her why some of the patients were listed to take one of the drugs before the other and she said that was just how the drug worked. I asked her why some patients took drug A then drug B, and others took drug B then drug A. She said it just worked that way. There was one patient listed that only had "Make sure she is okay" listed under her name, and I asked what that meant. She said to just spend a couple of minutes with that patient in the beginning of my shift and see if I noticed anything. <br><br>The first patient I went in to see was a woman in her late 40s. She ended up being a very nice person, and I was glad that I got to talk with her briefly. I had not realized it yet, but she was the patient that was only listed to make sure that she was okay. I did the rounds for the rest of the patients and I began to notice a trend. The patients that I had to make sure were okay, were perfectly okay... Mentally I mean. Physically they had been in horrible accidents or had horrible diseases, but they were all in positive spirits, very nice, and very thankful. Except for one. <br><br>The murses were giving report and we were over halfway through when I asked what room the last patient I had listed was in. They all looked shocked and one nurse started to frantically wave their arms and said that the patient I was referring to was not in that room, and if that was where the patient really was, to please go check on her. I had never heard of anything like this before and I thought that the patient must have been in an accident or something, and that they still put her name on the list until they could figure out what to do. I ended up seeing the last 8 or so patients on the list, and none of them were the patient I was looking for. <br><br>I asked again where the patient was and all of the nurses said "I told you, that patient is not here." I don't know what was worse for me, seeing the patient I ended up finding, or knowing what would have happened to the patient I didn't find. <br><br>I went back to the room that everyone kept telling me the patient was not in, to see if I had somehow missed her. At first I didn't see her, but then I noticed a bin of linens with something moving in it. Curious, I walked over to it and pulled the sheet away. What I saw will be forever etched in my mind. It was the patient I had been looking for, but something was horribly wrong. She was in the fetal position, convulsing, and quite frankly, she looked like a monster. At first I couldn't tell what was wrong with her, but the more I looked, the more I started to notice. Her skin was a grayish color, randomly scattered across her body were red spots that looked like blisters, and her hair was falling out. I really don't know how to describe it any other way than to say that it looked like her hair was alive and was moving of its own accord. <br><br>I don't know how, but she noticed that I was looking at her. Her eyes slowly turned toward me and she looked like a rabid animal, but then she saw that I was a person and not whatever she thought I was, and she looked up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. They were so full of fear and sadness... And then she started to scream. <br><br>She screamed for a very long time. I started to scream too, I couldn't help it. I had never seen anything like this before. The murses and doctors rushed in and sedated the patient and told me to go home and take the rest of the day off and all of the next day off. The resident that I had been shadowing was in a lot of trouble. He was called to a meeting with the heads of the hospital and I didn't see him for the rest of the day... He didn't show up to work the next day, and when I saw one of the doctors that was there when they sedated the patient, I asked if the resident was okay and he just shook his head and quickly walked away. <br><br>When I saw him a couple of days later he looked completely different. He was normally a very handsome man, but the first time I saw him after that day, he reminded me of the blister like spots on the patient. His skin was red, there were dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was starting to fall out. He wouldn't answer any of my questions about what had happened. <br><br>But I know that something did happen to him that day... And I know that something happened to that patient. <br><br>I can't really think of anything else to say. I never thought that I would be in a situation like this. I just really needed to tell someone about it and I thought that this was a good place to do that. Thanks for listening...