I got a tad too high and I think I totally mapped the universe.

I was sitting in my room smoking some bud out of a bong. It was no ordinary bud. I am a novice grower, so I'm pretty sure I messed up a lot on nutrients, watering, and timing, but I ended up with three plants that produce what most people would probably consider very weak weed. So stronger strains are generally intolerable to me. <br><br>I lit up the bong and I already knew I was getting high. I could feel it instantly, and I think I even had pretty clear thoughts at first. I remember thinking to myself "hmm wow, I'm already high". I took another hit. By the time I started making a joke about people downvoting my posts here, I was GONE. It turned into me saying "this post isn't going to get any upvotes" into "I probably just got downvoted for that post" to "this sub doesn't post history, so why would I think they see me posting" and then it really just snowballed.<br><br>It was probably a good 30 minutes or so that I had completely gone from thinking about reddit, and was thinking about my past. It was like I could relive every moment. Every bad or good decision, every piece of history, no matter how small, came to mind. From me seeing a massive Lunar Eclipse when I was like 10 years old, and not forgetting it, to my dad being proud of me when I was 3 for pointing out the color of a car in the parking lot. Unfortunately, the stress of it all got me a bit paranoid. I don't know how long it took, but I was laying on my bed, and I got up to look at the clock on my phone. My hands felt like rocks. They were not like rocks. They were massive, massive, heavy weights attached to my body. And the clock said 1:00. I think it was 9:00 when I smoked the bud. I didn't probably think of it that way, but I remember being like "I've been high for two hours? This is insane. I think I might be dead. I'm actually dead". <br><br>My massive rock hands were so heavy, I couldn't even lift them to look at my phone. So I started crawling on the bed and I don't know what I was doing with my legs, but I was on my elbows. So I was looking down at the bed. It was like I was looking down from an airplane. Everything was so far away. I tried to move my legs to get myself up and I swear they were two massive lead balloons tied to my ass that had a negative gravitational pull. I probably had a stupid look on my face, because I had my legs fully extended straight out like a frog. My arms were straight out in front of me, head down, and I think my legs were just straight out behind me. From that angle, the bed just seemed massive. It was like a country. I could see a crumpled mess of sheets in the corner, and I thought of that as a forest. And I was a pilot looking down at the country of Bedoria. That crumpled up mess probably reminded me of a forest because of a recent dream I had about being a pilot, and looking down at the ground, seeing trees, and thinking of how beautiful it was. Maybe that's where the whole idea came from. I don't know. Anyway, I was the pilot, and Bedoria looked nice. The forest was beautiful, and the sheets were pretty green. That reminded me of Ireland. <br><br> Ireland somehow reminded me of the movie "Inglorious Basterds". I don't really know why. I remember Christoph Waltz's character talking to the bartender. "I love Rum. I have a bit of a sweet tooth. I'm Austrian!" It turned into "I love Rum. I have a bit of a sweet tooth. I'm Austrian. I'm not German, I'm Austrian. I've never been to Austria. I have been to Ireland. Ireland is so beautiful. I love Ireland". It turned into me being a pilot, flying over countries. Austria, Ireland, Germany. I somehow ended up in the Middle East. I remember thinking "wow, that desert reminds me of home". I live in Arizona, so I think it's sometimes nice to see deserts when I'm overseas. I think it means I'm not too far from home. Then from being a pilot, I started thinking about pilots, and how they can talk to other pilots. I remember being at the airport and hearing pilots talk in their own language that sounds pretty hilarious to anyone else. It sounded like gibberish to me. "We're going to vector you to runway 3-5, start your descent now" and then the pilot in the plane would probably just say "yes, no, 3-5, runway, 3-5, vector, vector, bravo, bravo". <br><br>I thought about how pilots use their own language to communicate. I realized that virtually every profession has its own language. Doctors sometimes have to spell things out because they're hard to understand if you don't know what they're saying. If a doctor heard another doctor talking like "well, patient A has recently been complaining of stomach aches. We've done a few tests, and he's showing symptoms of anxiety, depression, nausea, and stomach aches. His naupathies have been pretty severe, so we probably need to get him set up for and endoscopy". But the doctor he's talking to probably already knows that the patient needs an endoscopy. He's saying "the patient is sick and has been sick, he needs an endoscopy, and you need to do it". <br><br>Then I started thinking about language. It probably went like this. At some point in history, the Earth split up into different groups. These groups eventually formed their own languages. That's obvious. But somehow, it worked. People were able to do it, and it somehow was shared across massive amounts of distance. I think that's probably the most insane thing in the history of the universe. It's imaginable that we could advance to where we are today, but I think the craziest thing that we've ever done is develop a universal language for communication. It's so basic, that you probably never even think about it. I never think about it. It's only because I was so damn high that I did. And when I thought about it, I was like "wow, that's crazy". And then I realized that, if we were able to form a universal language that worked so well, no matter how basic it is, then we're obviously capable of creating a universal language, and massive amounts of other things. The universe is probably so much smaller than we think. We could easily communicate across planets and galaxies using the same method we used to communicate with the people in the next town over. We just need some sort of device that lets us talk to each other across massive amounts of space. <br><br>Then I started thinking, probably because I was still thinking about being a pilot, what if these devices that we need somehow look like airports? That's probably insane thinking, but that's basically what I thought of. Some sort of universe airport. And then I probably thought of the universe airport as a massive piece of land that we could probably just walk on like it was the bed; a country or a planet. So I imagined the universe airport like a massive solar system with planets. These planets each have different functions. They're like airport terminals. They have their own language, their own rules, and their own way of operating like the airport terminals at LAX. So then I started mapping out the universe airport, and it was probably somehow based on the solar system we live in. <br><br>In our solar system, we have a massive gas giant in Jupiter, and a massive ice giant in Uranus. So in my universe airport, Jupiter is like the drawings on the departure board. Uranus is like the arrivals board. If you're on planet Earth, and you're trying to communicate with planet Mars, you see that Mars' language is Spanish, they're accepting English, German, and French, and they're located in terminal 3. Terminal 3 is probably about 100,000 miles away, so it might take you three hours to get there. If you don't speak English, German, or French, you can talk to Uranus, the arrivals planet, and they'll tell you where you can go to learn the language. There are also drawings on the departure board for planets that you can't communicate with yet. You might see a planet that looks like a tasty piece of cheese, and next to it will be some alien language. Mars probably looks like a red dot, but planet cheese is like a green dot with holes in it. They're not accepting any languages, but they are offering Portuguese and Italian. So if you don't speak one of their languages, you have two options to learn one. <br><br>I don't know how long this took me. I was still laying on my bed, but my legs were probably still straight out behind me and my arms were straight out in front of me. I was still crawling around on my elbows, and I was probably still looking at the bed thinking it was an airport or terminal or something. I remember at one point, I decided it would be a good idea to sit up and look at my phone again. When I sat up, I was like "holy shit, I feel like I just sat up out of my wheelchair for the first time in my life". My massive rock arms were still heavy, but I could lift them. My massive lead balloon legs were still like lead balloons, but I think they were starting to lose their negative gravitational pull. I could lift them a bit,