I never knew I was an incel until now.

I'm 22 years old and still a virgin, I don't really talk to girls, I've had zero relationships and zero hookups in my life. I ghosted all of my friends in high school because it was just too painful to see all of them hook up whenever they wanted, and I was left alone on the outside. I've never had a decent job, I have no hobbies or interests, and I'm just about to finish my degree in a field I'm not passionate about. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I'm seriously thinking about joining the military just for the sake of getting out of the house. It feels like I've been playing a game this whole time and I didn't know I was playing. I just woke up from a dream and saw the world for what it really is. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, I'm just in extreme mental pain and I need to talk to someone.