I don't know how to talk about this

I've just finished lunch and am about to pick up the kids. I'm really happy because I have 1 PD day, 1 half day on Friday and Spring Break next week. So I'm blessed in that regard. <br><br>I just got a text from a parent that her child just shot and killed himself. He was 8 years old. He always had behavioral issues and never really worked and always played with random things in class. But he was generally sweet. He wrote me the sweetest valentines in February and always complimented me. He was the first one to apologize if he did something wrong. It wasn't malicious, just goofy and forgetful.<br><br>I don't know what to do. I don't know the family's religious beliefs but I'll send flowers or a plant...I guess. He wasn't mine, but I'm crying in the empty lounge room. I feel so guilty. What if I had been more patient? More understanding? More...I don't know. I know it's not my fault. But it kind of feels like it. I don't know what to say to the class. I don't know when I'll tell them. Maybe not even today. I'm going to call my principal and talk to him.<br><br>I just wanted to talk to someone. I'm so sad. <br><br>EDIT: I just told my principal. He was very supportive and will work on telling the other teachers and making sure I am doing okay. Then he joked how he still has to come in tomorrow for some PD. I laughed. I know it's dark humor, but appreciate the timing. The kids are all calm. I spent the afternoon playing with them in the classroom. I still haven't cried in front of them. I wrote everyone a valentine and want them to have a good day before I tell them.