Got laid by my sister 2 times, and couple times by my cousin

Got laid by my sister 2 times, and couple times by my cousin.  I would like to say that I feel disgusted. I am a woman and had my first sexual experience with my sister. I was 14 and she was 12.  Back then I didn't understood anything, my sister at first convinced to have intercourse, and she took my virginity.  Next time I had sexual intercourse it was with my cousin couple years later. At that time I was around 19 and he was around 20.  At that time I was so ashamed and alone, and  I felt so disgusted, I was so lonely and desperate I asked my cousin and he was happy to do it.  He did it again couple of times, but till that moment when my cousin and my son are so close.  When I look at my son, I feel so disgusted, it's like he's my son and my  nephew.  I never felt so disgusted and lonely. Please help me.<br><br><br><br>Edit: My first son was born when I was 14, and he was born with down syndrome. My sister took my virginity and she was the one who convinced me to have sexual intercourse with my cousin. I was so ashamed and lonely, I didn't know anything about sex or anything. All I knew was that I had a son and I felt guilty and ashamed. My sister convinced me to have sexual intercourse with her, telling me that it was normal, and that it was something that we could do as sisters. I felt so confused and alone, and I didn't know what to do. After a while, I had sexual intercourse with my cousin again, but this time I felt guilty and ashamed. I  felt like I was doing something so wrong, and that I was so disgusting  I would like to say that I feel disgusted. I am a woman and had my first sexual experience with my sister. I was 14 and she was 12. Back then I didn't understood anything, my sister at first convinced to have intercourse, and she took my virginity. Next time I had sexual intercourse it was with my cousin couple years later. At that time I was around 19 and he was around 20. At that time I was so ashamed and alone, and I felt so disgusted, I was so lonely and desperate I asked my cousin and he was happy to do it. He did it again couple of times, but till that moment when my cousin and my son are so close. When I look at my son,  I feel so disgusted, it's like he's my son and my nephew. I never felt so disgusted and lonely and desperate. Please help me.