If aliens are coming to Earth, then they're coming to visit me because I'm 100% alien.

My father is half italian and my mother is half irish. My father's father was half italian and half german and my mother's mother was 100% irish. That means I have Italian, Irish, German blood coursing through my veins, making me a true alien among humans. They'll know that they don't have to search for alien life, just check out my veins, it's a glowing green, like a light in the dark. They'll come to visit me because I'm 100% alien.