You're never too old to become a performer for a children's show at the mall

I was in a local mall that I hadn't been to since the early 90's when I was a kid. It was the same mall my kids loved going to for a while, but now they were too old for it.<br><br>But while walking around, we stumbled upon a play area, and they had a show for kids in the middle of it. I thought it would be funny if I brought my kids back to watch the show.<br><br>They didn't know it, but they were going to see a mini version of "The Price is Right" featuring the local mall characters.<br><br>There was a dude in a red velvet Elvis costume, a chick in a mall logo dress, a dude in a pirate costume, and a couple of other things that were just bizarre. The show was like a mashup of The Price is Right and Blue's Clues.<br><br>It was actually kind of hilarious, but I swear to God it was like I was a 5-year-old kid again and they just brought back the Mall Santa dude, but now he had his own stage show.<br><br>At one point they had a balloon animal guy who was doing balloon animals, and then they brought out the mall Santa, and he had a fucking camera crew. He started doing a bit about how his favorite gift he got was a new camera, but the one he was holding was much better. It was all just some insane inside joke, but it was fucking funny.<br><br>They brought out all these fucking props, and they did a fake holiday parade, and then they did a fake musical number. They also had some dude in an elf costume riding on top of the Santa dude like he was a fucking jockey.<br><br>It was so fucking insane, and I was laughing my ass off, but I also felt like I was transported back in time 30 years.<br><br>It was like this crazy time capsule of all the shit I loved growing up that now makes no sense to my kids.<br><br>They have their own shit now, and I get it, but for a minute there I was just transported back to the time of Nintendo Virtual Boy and the original Gameboy Pocket, when the most fun we had was going to the mall to play arcade games.<br><br>I fucking loved it. I laughed so fucking hard. It was insane.<br><br>And my kids loved it too, but they just thought it was weird and funny. They were like "Dad, you're so weird" because I was laughing my ass off.<br><br>But I'm like "fuck you" because I'm 36 years old and I watched a fucking holiday show featuring the fucking mall Santa and the fucking balloon animal guy.<br><br>I'm 36 years old. Fuck you. I'll do whatever I want.<br><br>I fucking loved it, though.